Holy MTV Video Music Awards

The MTV Video Music Awards returned to their rightful home in New York City tonight and it was a night of great performances, underdog wins and a random guy named Six stealing the show. Before we moved from our beloved Manhattan, we were fortunate enough to attend the VMA's and witnessed the Soy Bomb guy rush the stage during Bob Dylan's performance and we vowed to never miss the VMA's live again. We'll get to 2006's soy bomb event in a moment. The show started out with the hottest performance ever by Justin Timberlake and we are officially in love. We have never, ever seen anyone dance like that ever, ever. Get it? We love him. Best Male Video went to James Blunt for 'You're Beautiful' which completely rocks and Best Hip-Hop Video went to Black Eyed Peas for 'My Humps' which does not rock at all. Hey, you're here for our opinion so there it be. Shakira kicked it up with a performance of 'Hips Don't Lie' in an Indian sari complete with an entourage of dancers and Wyclef Jean. Amazing. Kelly Clarkson won Best Female Video for 'Because of You' and Pink won Best Pop Video for 'Stupid Girls' which was presented by Nicole Richie whom the song was about. Ironic. The Pussycat Dolls won Best Dance Video and Best Rap went to Chamillionaire for 'Ridin.' Fort Minor won for Ringtone of the Year with 'Where'd You Go' which is a great song and his newest song actually made us sit in the car at our destination just so we could find out who it was by. Best New Artist in a Video was Avenged Sevenfold for a song called 'Bat Country' and they were the biggest upset of the night as no one has ever heard of them. Beyonce performed from her new album and her choreography was reminiscent of Janet Jackson's 'Control' era. She also won Best R&B Video for 'Check On It.'
Paris Hilton made an appearance wearing God knows what and magically disappeared during comedienne Sarah Silverman's sarcastic ode to Paris. Basically Silverman said that Paris was too fat and needs to lose weight and that she knows that Paris "feels" and publicizing her reconciliation with former best friend Nicole Richie during sweeps on a popular late night talk show (Letterman) demonstrates "that". "That" being that Paris feels. Whatever, it was funny. We don't do it justice, catch the replays which will be on MTV for the next week.

Host Jack Black had a Tenacious D reunion and sang about Friendship, Motherf#ckin' Friendship, AFI won Best Rock Video for 'Miss Murder' and no, we didn't know MTV even played rock anymore. The Viewers' Choice Award was presented by the cast of JackAss who stayed true to their name and caused the cameras to film from very, very far away taking the spotlight away from winners Fall Out Boy for 'Dance, Dance.' Then Jenifer Lopez arrived to present the Video of the Year Award and wore the above outfit. We don't even know where to begin with that so we'll move on. She switched into her "Jenny From The Block" Puerto Rican accent to talk about the new MTV channel launching soon called MTV Tres which will feature Musica Latina. That is MTV 3 featuring Latin Music for all you readers not from "the block." Then she opened the envelope and read the winner - Panic! At The Disco for 'I Write Sins, Not Tragedies,' and then she gave the microphone to an African-American gentleman that appeared out of nowhere and was obviously not part of the all white boy group Panic! At The Disco. While the winners of Video of the Year were making their way to the stage, this guy named Six went on about how MTV wouldn't give him his own reality show and how you should all go to his website at mtv.6000.com and finally security got him and he was this year's Soy Bomb. We once heard of a stylist named Six that used to self-promote so we're off to find the website and solve the mystery. Adios Miami, welcome home MTV!

Our Hero Harry

Last week was more of the same for Lindsay Lohan as Oscar-nominated actor William H. Macy told the truth when asked about his experience working with Lohan on the set of Bobby. His first response was, "She was pretty late." He continued, "You can't show up late. It's very, very disrespectful. I think what an actor has to realize is that when you show up an hour late, 150 people have been scrambling to cover for you. There is not an apology big enough in the world to have to make 150 people scramble. It's nothing but disrespect." Lindsay's rep was unavailable for comment on that, but this week she is in full-spin mode feeding the press info about the calming effect that Lohan's boyfriend has had on her. Harry Morton does not drink or do drugs after losing his half-sister Domino Harvey to an overdose-suicide last year, shortly before Keira Knightley portrayed her on the big screen in Domino. At the urging of Harry, Lindsay will not partake in the festivities surrounding tonight's MTV Video Music Awards and she just cancelled her visit telling friends, "I don't need to be there." Still smarting from the spring debacle featuring Lohan's obnoxious behavior, New York City just let out a sigh of relief.

First Things First

At first the appearances by Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner seemed like a stunt for the reality stars to garner press. Then last week Nicole's rep insisted the two were just very close friends. Now this week they are a couple as Nicole's dad, Lionel Richie, (of Dancing on The Ceiling fame) and Brody's mom, Linda Thompson, (of Elvis Presley girlfriend and wife of Olympian Bruce Jenner fame) gave an interview to People magazine talking about their kids' love match. Richie said, "I was there when he was born! They grew up together. To see them together now is like, 'Where are you going with this?' But they're having a wonderful time." Thompson had only kind words for Nicole, "She is like my godchild...She's a darling girl, very intelligent and very together. I think they're very cute (as a couple). Will they get married? Who knows? He's young and so is she." Nicole, 24, and Brody, 23, have both recently emerged from tumultuous relationships with DJ AM and Kristin Cavalleri so Mom might want to give them at least a few weeks before she starts talking marriage. Perhaps getting Nicole to eat something would be a more productive form of meddling.

Shame On You, Aquaman

The NY Post ran this blind item today, "WHICH TV star is doing a little too much cocaine? The actor recently went to the Soho Grand where he "did lines out in the open bar," and at the Emmys he "wore a dirty brown shirt and smelled of drugs." We did a little investigative journalism and found this pic of Adrian Grenier of HBO's Entourage in the only shirt of the night that comes close to being brown. We can expect to see and hear more obnoxious behavior from Grenier as his personality changes a la Lindsay Lohan. Sweet.

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

In an effort to be famous for some reason other than being a porn star, Paris Hilton released an album last week after many years of threatening to do so. In the first week, she sold 75,000 copies which is not very many and Soundscan projects that Paris will sell only 30,000 copies this week. In a recent interview Paris said of her album, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good." While she lies to herself about her musical talent, Paris is also lying in interviews to improve her promiscuous image. She is telling anyone that will listen that she will not have sex for a year and that she has only had sex with two guys. Yes, in her lifetime. Two. Moving on, the son of Cher and Gregg Allman, Elijah Blue Allman, was on Howard Stern last week and told of his sexual experience with Paris before she was famous. 'He got nervous right afterward that he might have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from her. Allman says he was so worried, he raced downstairs and grabbed a household cleaning product to pour over his private parts and "disinfect" them.' As for her BFF, Brandon Davis, Life & Style reports that his family is selling their home so he has moved in with Paris, and that "They're hooking up, but she doesn't want anyone to know about it. It's being kept very hush-hush." While Paris is not the brightest gal, at least she's smart enough not to want people to know she's with Brandon. We'll give her that.

Baby Momma Drama

Brangelina made their first public appearance as a couple in Los Angeles when they attended a birthday party for Scott Caan last week. As drama is a permanent member of their entourage, there was plenty of buzz surrounding their debut. After attending an art show the couple arrived at the party only to sit in their car for thirty minutes until Angelina's father, actor Jon Voight, had made his exit. Background: Scott Caan is James Caan's son and appears in Ocean's 13 with Brad Pitt and yes, they're making another Ocean's movie. Voight is somewhat of a legend in Hollwood and is dear friends with the Caan family, hence his attendance. Angelina has been estranged from her father since 2002 when he said in a TV interview that she needed help for her "mental problems," which she herself had extensively discussed in many, many interviews. In an uncharacteristic move on our part, we will not comment on this particular relationship. We have seen, however, Voight talk about how happy he is for Angelina and Brad and the birth of Shiloh and he has been extremely gracious when asked about his daughter and has always said how proud he is of her and her many accomplishments. Rumor is Brad, who is super-close with his fam, has tried to bring Ang and her dad back together to no avail. The other big news surrounding Brangelina comes from his family's first meeting with his Baby Momma. Brad's family, mother Jane & Co., flew out from Missouri to attend Maddox's fifth birthday party and received a less than stellar welcome upon arrival from Angelina. Actually, Angelina acted like they weren't even there. Perhaps she was pissed that Jane is still close with Jen Aniston, her former daughter-in-law until Angelina broke up their happy home, but she needs to get over it. There's no faster way to lose a man than to alienate his family and being an Oscar winner, Angelina of all people should be able to act like she is a respectable woman. Apparently Jane was none too pleased by the open bar at Maddox's little kid party and was offended that Angelina got wasted, leading the Pitt clan to leave several days before planned. We know that Angelina marches to the beat of a different drummer with the vials of blood and obnoxious behavior, but at her age and with three children it's time to grow the f*ck up. Of course that's just a suggestion.

Project Runway Round-Up

Things heated up with Jeffrey and Angela this week when he made her mom cry, but he is still in the race playing this season's villain. We learned that previously he "was a junkie living on the streets" which may explain why his neck is covered in tattoos. Barbie Boy Robert Best bid us adieu and eccentric Vincent won the challenge working with Uli's mom, Heidi. We have spent most of the past weeks in Manhattan at Parsons School of Design where Project Runway is filmed, as our Royal Princess sister from across the pond has been accepted into the Masters Program. The mentor slash advisor at Parsons is none other than the fabulous Tim Gunn and we know our Royal Sissy will definitely "make it work." As for the final three on the show...we predict our favorite designer Michael Knight will show a collection at Fashion Week as well as Uli from Germany via Miami. We're guessing the wild card will go to Laura, the newly revealed pregnant for the sixth time architect or Jeffrey because he makes for good TV. Angela and Kane have questionable taste and Vincent seems to be off his rocker, but as Heidi lets us know every week, "Sometimes you're in and sometimes you're out." Perhaps Angela's grandma flowers will miraculously be in again. If that's the case, Heaven help us all.

State Of Emergency, Call The FBI

As Paris Hilton and new BFF Jenna Jameson consolidate their porn-star wattage in Hollywood, lawyers for Lindsay Lohan are looking into the Blackberry hacking scandal. The Post reports, "Hilton, with at least 50 other customers, has been dropped from her SpoofCard account for misusing the service. All of the people that were terminated were terminated because they had violated the terms and conditions of use," company lawyer Mark Del Bianco. The lawyer confirmed that Lohan was a victim. And yes, they used the word victim. It's a good thing this isn't being blown out of proportion or anything.

"HELL NO!"

Proving that she is still a teen favorite, albeit one with unfortunate wardrobe choices, Brit Brit drove the crowd into a fit as she introduced K-Fed's live performance Sunday evening. If you missed it you can check it out here. She seems to be eager for a comeback saying, "I feel like I've been pregnant for 10 years! I'm so excited about getting my body back and getting a routine scheduled. I'm definitely going to start working out in a huge way." The consumption by teens of videos by Britney wannabe's like Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson has hopefully convinced her that she needs to get back on MTV. Showing a glimpse of her chart-topping diva spirit of old, Brit Brit shut down Jessica Simpson backstage at the awards show when she asked to kiss her pregnant belly. The name of this post was the answer.

About Last Night

This picture of Demi Moore leaving her daughter's eighteenth birthday party was rather shocking at first because how on earth could a mother be doing drugs with her daughter around?! At her birthday party no less. And then we saw Demi's sidekick for the evening and it all became very clear.

Guess What This Post Is About

In an effort to limit the exposure we give to Pete Doherty and his junkie ways, going forward we will only cover the really big screw-ups such as his arrest last week on seven counts of drug possession. In addition to heroin, crack cocaine and marijuana, Pete had four other types of drugs that we've never heard of. Perhaps that anti-drug implant doesn't work so well.

All The Wrong Moves

Crazy Tom Cruise's ridiculous behavior has finally caught up to him and there's not a publicist alive that can spin the damage. After fourteen years of making movies together, Paramount Pictures has given Tom the boot. Sumner Redstone, the chairman of the studio, blamed Tom's public outbursts for the decision and told the Wall Street Journal, "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount." Ouch.

And The Award Goes To....

While the return of The Sopranos last season made us abandon our Sunday night visits with the ladies of Desperate Housewives, Eva Longoria seems to always be present on the television and in the news talking about her boyfriend, Tony Parker. If we are to believe the NY Post, Eva is channeling her naughty character Mrs. Solis as they ask, "WHICH sexy Latina actress who loves to talk about how much she loves her boyfriend secretly hooked up with an older gent after a recent awards show?" We're rooting for her to upgrade to a non-French boyfriend, perhaps an A-lister such as Matt Dillon. Even Luke Wilson would suffice.

How Will I Know If He's Thinking Of Me

It has been quite awhile since Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have been in the news and the absence of their reality show from this summer's BRAVO line-up leads us to believe that they are in no shape to be on television. We only wish we could see their reaction to the new Harper's Bazaar interview in which Osama Bin Laden's former sex slave, Kola Boof, explained of the terrorist's obsession for Whitney. Boof explains, "He said that he had a paramount desire for her and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting. He would say how beautiful she is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband, Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women's husbands killed. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives." Obviously it was quite some time ago when he had these feelings towards Whitney. In recent years, she and Bobby have inexplicably traveled to Israel which she proclaimed "my homeland," and her "nice smile" has been replaced with false teeth after years of crack cocaine use. No wonder he hates American culture so much.

OH. MY. GOD.

Last week Brit Brit bought herself some new shoes and graced the cover of People magazine with Sean Preston. Evidently there was a stylist present and she looked rather lovely. Things were looking up for the Spears family. MSNBC reported that she was making K-Fed get rid of the six sharks he keeps in a tank in their home due to the danger they present for their children. Good parenting on Brit's part. All of this sensibility led us to believe that perhaps K-Fed's first live performance closing the Teen Choice Awards last night might actually be okay. K-Fed said we would all be blown away and he had some tricks up his sleeve, blah, blah, blah. We were in fact blown away. No record company would pick him up so he started his own label called Federation Records and he "rapped" about his label and spending money and drinking champagne. We were in shock that this was being aired on television. That's how ridiculous it was.

Lonely, Lonely Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is quickly replacing Tara Reid as the joke around Hollywood. First she was publicly berated by her boss, then her UK record company fired her. Apparently Lindsay did not receive what she perceives to be enough attention from Daddy and told Elle about her many sexual conquests, most of whom were far older than she. Lindsay's promiscuity has already garnered her the title of "Slut" which is not good, especially for a twenty-year-old. That label will stick with her for life. Her once cute personality has been drastically altered by cocaine and alcohol and now she is a self-centered, bitter, irresponsible brat who bad-mouths her friends and family as well as other celebrities. Her public image is one of an insecure and pathetic loser. Last week she was banned from Justin Timberlake's performance in L.A. at the House of Blues because "The last thing his label wants is Lindsay getting hammered and making a spectacle of herself." Music super-producer Scott Storch re-ignited the "We Hate Lindsay" movement by proclaiming, "We're actually celebrating Firecrotch Day," to a crowd of photogs, fans and tourists in L.A. while the Hilton sisters and Brandon Davis laughed. The moniker's originator, Davis, took the microphone at Paris' album release party in Miami and told the crowd, "I wrote a special new song called 'Firecrotch', and it's for Lindsay Lohan!" To top things off, she seems to have lost her bra.

This Week In DeeWee News

Mr. Personality himself, Mel Gibson, settled his court case and received three years of probation, has to pay a $1200 fine as well as enter rehab. (Dee-Wee stands for DWI which is NY's version of a DUI-one is Driving While Intoxicated, the other is Driving Under The Influence but they both mean that you're totally screwed.) Also back in the news is the kid from Sixth Sense and Pay It Forward, Haley Joel Osment, who was charged with Dee-Wee after he hit a mailbox and flipped his car back on July 20. He is additionally charged with possession of marijuana and driving drunk under the age of 21. Silly question we must ask: are there no car services or cab companies over there on the left coast? Surely these movie stars can find alternatives to driving around wasted, alone, in the middle of the night. Can't they?

The Butterscotch Stallion Is In Love

So apparently Kate and Owen were just friends while filming their movie, "You, Me & Dupree," and things heated up in June when they began the press junket to promote the flick. US Weekly is reporting that the two shared a hotel room while they traveled around the world and have been shacking up in Owen's Santa Monica place since they returned to the States. They were also seen having breakfast at restaurant A Votre Sante on August 3rd. Hudson's rep did not deny the claim of an affair and Wilson's rep only said that he was not the cause of Kate's divorce. Alrighty then.

You Cheeky Monkey, You

Princes William and Harry are all grown up and drinking Cosmos?! We thought for sure they'd be Scotch drinkers.

Crackity Crack Kate Confused

Kate Moss graces the cover of September's Vanity Fair and is the face of at least eight campaigns including Louis, Burberry and Versace. What better way to celebrate her comeback than to get wasted with her junkie ex-boyfriend? Pete Dougherty reportedly had an anti-drug implant put in his stomach which will make him sick if he does heroin, but there are still plenty of other vices for the freakshow couple to imbibe. They are rumored to be getting married this weekend in Ibiza and Kate is now wearing a ring on her wedding finger. We think she might be slightly retarded.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

After six years of marriage Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson have parted ways. The couple wed only one year into their relationship when the actress was 21 and The Black Crowes frontman was 33. They have a two-year-old son named Ryder. Kate was recently on The View to promote her latest movie and showed her disenchantment with married life, saying that it's human nature to be attracted to men other than your husband and she seemed to stutter when asked about the state of her union. When Joy Behar told her that co-stars Matt Dillon and Owen Wilson had crushes on her, Kate lit up and was very interested. Joy said, "See, that's why it's good to not be married."

Tough Time To Be A Barker

The Barkers divorce is in full swing with no shot of reconciliation. A friend of Travis explained, "Shanna is never home . . . She parties every night, sleeps until 1 p.m. every day, and doesn't spend nearly enough time with the kids. And on top of that there have been rumors she hasn't been faithful. He's had it." Through his rep Travis added, "I'm sad to say those allegations are true. My priority will remain my children." If the footage from their reality show is admissible in court, we don't see how she has a prayer of gaining custody or alimony. Not to mention any future guy she wants to be with can see what she's like on DVD - always sleeping, always complaining, never cooking or cleaning, always spending money, never with her kids, and completely unreliable. Great catch.

Do You Really Want To Make Me Cry?

Boy George started his community service in Manhattan this morning, punishment for his big blunder awhile back. He called the police to his apartment claiming that a hustler was trying to rob him and when the police arrived, they found 13 bags of cocaine next to his computer and arrested the 80's singer. His lawyer claimed the drugs were not his, a defense that obviously did not work out so well.

Life Imitates Tabloids

Yes, we know that the photos are really grainy and super-zoomed in but that is in fact, Suri Cruise. That also appears to be the baby's mother, Katie, er, Kate in the window living up to the Rag Mag's claims that she is a prisoner in Tom's mansion. Recent witnesses of the chosen one have included fellow Scientard Leah Remini, former Tom Beard Penelope Cruz, and Will Smith's wife Jada Pinkett-Smith. Becks and Posh have been invited to meet the baby but must obey rules during the visit - no baby talk, no cameras, no loud-talking and Tom has made Posh agree to distract Kate as he tries to seduce her husband. We made that last part up.

They Are, Are Not, Who Cares?

The rep for porn-star Jenna Jameson has confirmed that she and Dave Navarro are dating. The couple was introduced by Neil Strauss who co-wrote her book How To Make Love Like A Porn Star and also co-wrote Dave's book Don't Try This At Home. Jenna is currently divorcing her husband slash business partner and has relocated to Los Angeles to be near Dave. Meanwhile, Dave has said he is not looking to get into a serious relationship at this time and that he and Jenna are not "officially dating." We're still trying to find out when these people became relevant.

The Hot Pants From Hotlanta

Last night's episode of Project Runway rocked with our favorite designer, Michael, winning the challenge. After Keith got kicked off last week for having design books in his room and for going MIA during the contest, yucky Jeffrey is now the resident meanie and annoyance extraordinaire. After picking a fight with Angela and Laura, Jeffrey went to Michael for his support and he stuck up for Angela and gave us another brilliant quote, "I'm not tryin' to be Captain-Save-A-Ho, as we say in the hood." We love Michael.

Bienvenido a Miami

Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are super-BFF's and currently vacationing in Miami Beach together. Tuesday night they dined at Nobu then partied at B.E.D. and SkyBar. So cute how they planned their outfits, "Roll the sleeves to the elbow, unbutton to exactly here, leave it untucked, your chest wax looks great, yours too, we've got our bracelets, and let's always have matching drinks. You're fabulous. No YOU are fabulous."

Holy Dunzo-Rama

A couple of summers ago MTV launched the "reality" series Laguna Beach focusing on the lives of very wealthy teens and their dramas in Laguna Beach, California. Lauren (left) and Kristin (right) were rival cool girls both involved with Stephen while Jason (left) was dating Jessica who was best friends with Kristin, then they broke up and he dated Alex M then moved on to Lauren who was called "LC" at the time, and then he kissed Jessica and Lauren saw it and they broke up, then Lauren got her own MTV show called The Hills and then Lauren and Jason got back together and she gave up an internship in Paris to spend the summer with Jason in Malibu. Meanwhile, Kristin called it quits with Stephen and went on to host a party planning show which was promptly cancelled and began dating Brody Jenner (right, son of Bruce Jenner who also had a reality show which we never watched) after Laguna friend Talan, who dated Lindsay and was briefly engaged to Kimberly, introduced the two but then Kristin and Brody broke up and she briefly dated Nick, and then she and Brody got back together. Now this week, both couples have announced their break-ups. Got it?

Third Time Not So Charming

First Nick and Jessica filed for divorce, then Dave and Carmen filed for divorce, and now Travis and Shanna have filed for divorce. Every couple that starred in a reality show on MTV is now dunzo. Travis Barker, drummer for blink-182, filed for divorce from his former Miss USA slash sometimes actress wife today after less than two years of marriage. Their show, Meet The Barkers, focused on the couple and their baby son, Shanna's daughter from a previous relationship (we now find out the previous guy was boxer Oscar de la Hoya), and their soon to be baby girl. Travis smoked a lot of pot, Shanna slept all the time and the nanny took care of their home. So surprising it didn't work out.

On The Way To The Clock Tower

Last year we pleaded with Brit Brit over and over to stop wearing the shorts to no avail. Enough is enough and we're moving on. Our new cause? The shoes. They are hideous AND she's been wearing them for more than a year. It's time for a new pair of flip-flops. So jump in the time machine and head on over to the future. We'll meet cha' there.

We Just Don't Understand

Why is that Paris Hilton feels the need to show her bits in public? This behavior is un-ladylike and clearly not acceptable in polite society. In any society for that matter. When little girls lift their skirts up, mothers generally say, "No, sweetie. Put your skirt down." At 25 years old, surely someone has explained this to Paris. So we ask again, why? Please, someone explain this. Send all theories to princessnobody@gmail.com. Thank you.

Desperately Seeking Attention

Madonna brought her tour to Rome tonight much to the displeasure of the Catholic Church, as always. The mock-crucifixion routine is her latest attempt to garner attention, and the desperation of it all makes us a little sad. We know you're edgy, Madonna. We remember the SEX book, the videos, we get it. The crown of thorns and the Kaballah blah-blah are silly. So please, enough already.

The Break-Up

"When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong," said Dr. Houseman, aka Baby's father, in Dirty Dancing. Well we feel the same way now that it has been reported that Vaughniston is no more. According to Life & Style, Vince and Jen are completely broken up so our prediction that they were the new "it" couple was way off the mark. So we "know that you're not the one that got Penny in trouble" and we suspect the shorts were the culprit.

Holy Hawaiian Hide-Away

Justin and Cameron spent last weekend in Hawaii where they reportedly bought a place together. Coincidentally, a real estate record was set on O'ahu yesterday with the closing of a $24 million beachfront property to an undisclosed buyer. We guess this means they're really back together.

Paris Goes Greek Again

A few weeks ago Paris Hilton announced that she was taking one year off from dating so she could focus on her, ahem, music career. Apparently that plan is scrapped now because she told reporters in St. Tropez, "We're together now here. We love each other," in regards to ex-beau Stavros Niarchos. She then treated him to a pole dance in the club. We can only hope that his bazillionaire family and friends got to witness how classy she is.

Guess The Gay Guy

Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong have been spending an awful lot of time together biking around California so this blind item makes us go hmmm...."WHICH hunky actor who once picked up a young man and brought him back to the Mercer Hotel for oral sex is now hanging out with a top athlete? The two are said to be more than just workout buddies." There was the whole naked bongo playing arrest for McConaughey and then he dated Penelope Cruz as did the ambiguously gay Tom Cruise. We're just saying.

*Update-Aug. 3: Ted Casablanca of E! writes that Lance has been crashing at Matt's Malibu pad

Star's Sad Summer

The NY Post is reporting that Star Jones and Al Reynolds are taking the train to Splitsville after less than two years of marriage. Reynolds has always been associated with playing for the other team and his gay escapades have been tabloid fodder since the engagement. He and Star have never denied the switch-hitting and have avoided the topic altogether. Al was recently spotted leaving the offices of a divorce attorney in Manhattan shortly after Star's View firing in late June. Considering that her marriage to Al is what turned viewers off to her in the first place, this is quite a bummer for Star. We just hope there was a pre-nup.

More Mel Mania

The apologies just keep coming from Mel Gibson as he tries to "heal" himself and change his Nazi-loving ways, but he should really think about asking forgiveness from his wife and family for disgracing them. The focus has been on the anti-Semitic comments he made, but this is not really breaking news following the Passion film and reports that his father is a white supremacist. The new and improved embarrassment stems from his behavior which was totally wiggedy whack. At the police station he asked a female sergeant, "What are you looking at sweet-tits?" and began to unzip his pants so he could pee on the floor. The officers reported that he was screaming that he would f#ck them while continuously jumping like a chimpanzee. Now that is embarrassing. Then there are these pictures taken shortly before his arrest which speak for themselves. And to think that Mel wanted to move away from Brit-Brit because she was causing too much ruckus.

Vegas, Baby, Vegas

Brit-Brit made an appearance in Vegas over the weekend to support K-Fed as he filmed his new video. In the August issue of Harper's Bazaar she talks about the Nelly Furtado album, Loose, and how she loves it. "Justin worked on that." The interviewer added Brit made the remark with some pride. When asked if she has talked to Justin recently..."You know what? I haven't spoken to him in two years - it's crazy - him and Christina [Aguilera] and all the Mickey Mouse Club people." Good thing she added the Christina part in there so it doesn't seem like she's been counting the days since she spoke with Justin. Another favorite quote from the interview: "I'm not supposed to be this huge pregnant superstar." These days, huge and pregnant, yes. Superstar? Not so much.