Johnny Travolta Gets His Wings

What the what?! Johnny Boy Travolta has finally decided to come out of the closet. As everyone knows, the Church of Scientology has their members do what they call "auditing" during which time the new cult members divulge all of their deepest, darkest secrets. Then, the "church" holds these admissions over the heads of their members to get them to do whatever they want. Members need to tow the line or else their secrets will be revealed. It's common knowledge that high-profile scientologists John Travolta and Tom Cruise enjoy having sex with men. Bisexual, homosexual, whatever the case may be, they have built careers touting themselves as heterosexual family men.

Now, by being so blatantly indiscreet in pursuing his gay massages, John Travolta is in effect outing himself. Way back in 2000 or so, there was a wrestler in Europe or something, that was going to tell his story about having sex with Tom Cruise. Cruise's pitbull lawyer, Marty Singer, shut that shit down before you could say, "But he's Jerry Maguire!" We don't want to get into a big, long discussion about scientology, but there is a pattern of threats and coercion and blackmail and suspicious deaths that dates back before we were born. If the "church" wanted to make Travolta's problems go away, they would. After the death of his son, we would think that John has had enough. So what that he likes to have sex with masseurs? He obviously has an arrangement with his wife, Kelly Preston, and they seem to be doing fine raising their children and living their lives. It's not like being revealed as gay could damage his career. He has no career. If anything, being true to himself will bring him new opportunities.

Both of the plaintiffs suing Travolta are being listed as "John Doe" to protect their identities, and they are being represented by the same attorney. We're a little nervous for said attorney's life but Travolta will undoubtedly settle this out of court so hopefully no one will get hurt. It's interesting to note as well that no one sued that dude that wrote, "You'll Never Spa In This Town Again," which was chock full of stories about Travolta's many gay escapades at the LA Spa. Being that he's totally best friends with Oprah, we say he does a show on OWN where he comes clean about his life. Holy amazeballs ratings that would be.

Democratic National Convention

The Convention rocked this past week. Oprah made a discreet appearance in a sky box at the stadium in Denver last night to see him accept the Democratic nomination. Earlier in the week at the Pepsi Center, Hillary and Bill gave great speeches after Michelle Obama kicked off the week before a surprising appearance and speech by Teddy Kennedy. For those of you that missed Clinton's speech, you can watch it below. It was the best of her career. Rock it out, Hills.

Two Greats Gone Too Soon

The shock of Bernie Mac's death yesterday morning at the early age of 50 was followed with the sudden death of Isaac Hayes this morning at the age of 65. Both men will star in the film, Soul Men, to be released in November of this year. Bernie Mac began his career as a comedian and went on to win several Emmys for The Bernie Mac Show based on his true life experience of raising his drug-addicted sister's three children. Mac appeared in several films including the Ocean's Eleven films for which he appeared on Oprah and discussed his inflammatory lung disease which had been in remission since 2005. The actor was admitted to Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago last week with pneumonia and was expected to make a full recovery. Bernie Mac is survived by his wife of 31 years, Rhonda, and their daughter and granddaughter.

Isaac Hayes was found on the floor next to his treadmill in a basement room in his Memphis home by family members. A soul singer and songwriter, Hayes won an Oscar in 1972 for best original song for the film Shaft. Hayes also won several Grammy awards before filing for bankruptcy in 1976 when his record company took a financial hit. He attracted a new audience in the 1990's as Chef on the long-running show South Park. Somewhere in there, Hayes got himself mixed up with the Scientards. Two years ago Hayes suffered a stroke which caused him to leave South Park, although the "Church" of Scientology released a statement insinuating that he quit because of an episode that exposed the scariness of the cult. Chief-Scientards Tom Cruise and John Travolta starred in the Emmy-nominated episode called Trapped In The Closet. Cruise made such a stink about the episode that Sumner Redstone fired him from Paramount. Similar to Crazy Tom Cruise, Isaac Hayes was abandoned by his father as a child and his flamboyance had rumors swirling that he played for the other team. Tom has been married three times, Isaac has been married four times. In the past year, two opponents of Scientology have mysteriously died alone in their homes, so we won't be surprised if it turns out Hayes was no longer willing to pay 10% of his income to the church and they helped him along to his death. Hayes just finished playing himself in the film, Soul Men, which stars Jackson, Mac, Sean Hayes and Jennifer Coolidge. Isaac Hayes is survived by 12 children. Rest In Peace.

Enquiring Minds Want To Know

John Edwards has finally admitted to having an affair with Reille Hunter beginning in 2006. He blamed it on the inflation of his ego surrounding his run for President. Apparently he felt he could do no wrong. During this same time Edwards' wife, Elizabeth, was diagnosed with an incurable cancer that she discovered while on the campaign trail with her husband. The Edwards family was on Oprah back in the day and we genuinely believed that John Edwards was a stand-up guy. Ummmmm, no. The good ol' Enquirer reporters got on the case after a woman on Edwards' staff came down with a good ol' pregnancy and now the rest is history. Edwards was visiting the mistress and her baby in a hotel when he was confronted by an Enquirer reporter at 3 in the morning. Edwards ran into a restroom in the basement of the hotel and refused to come out. Did we mention it was 3 in the morning? In addition to the $100 plus grand she received to film videos of Edwards on his press tours, the woman has been receiving up to $15,000 per month to keep the affair quiet. Edwards went on Dateline and said that the baby is not his and that he would do a paternity test if the baby mama agreed and you guessed it....baby mama does not want a paternity test. Oh, and he was not aware that she was receiving money. Of course.

Oprah Is Totally Playing Cupid

Two new relationships have heated up with Mariah Carey marrying Nick Cannon after 6 weeks of dating and Jenifer Aniston looking fantastic with John Mayer. Both boys are 10 years younger than the gals. Both Mariah and Jen are BFF with Oprah and are now reaping the benefits. Hopefully they'll all campaign this fall. Ooooh, speaking of Obama, Scarlett Johanssen (one of his earliest supporters) is now engaged to Ryan Reynolds. Bravo.