The Hottie And The Nottie Game

Perhaps we're missing Paris already or just fascinated with the idea that she may have a movie career. "Experience being her strength." Regardless of what we think, producers are still giving her $ to appear/act in their films. Hilton's most recent role was in a film called The Hottie And The Nottie. We'll get back to you on that spelling. Or not. So here's the game...Sascha Baron Cohen at the MTV Movie Awards is definitely the Hottie. Word is Isla Fisher, Cohen's fiancee, is preggers. Moving on....
This is freakshow Spencer and Heidi from The Hills. Someone needs to tell MTV that Spencer is not 23. He has enough make-up on that we easily add a decade on that mug. He's a nottie.
John Mayer rebounded from the Jessica Simpson fling to look better than ever. He's a hottie.
As always, Brandon Davis is the epitome of a nottie.

A Friend Is, As A Friend Does

Paris Hilton turned 26 last weekend and the party she threw for herself was a bust in more ways than one. First of all, the only "celebrity" that attended of her own free-will was her sister, Nicky Hilton. Even Nicole Richie was a no-show even after Paris promised the crowd that she would be arriving soon. Paula Abdul and Courtney Love were in attendance briefly as their people arranged for them to attend in a desperate attempt to gain publicity for them. Paula is battling rumors that she's a pill-popping drunk and is currently filming a reality show called "Hey Paula." Courtney is promoting a yet to be released comeback album and brought her daughter Frances Bean to the party which was billed as a family celebration. Brandon Davis changed all that with his obnoxious behavior. BIG surprise. He mocked Paula's middle-eastern heritage and threw flowers and styrofoam at her...causing her to leave before she was able to sing her scheduled "Happy Birthday" song. Brandon dragged Courtney Love onto his lap in front of her daughter and she promptly left as well. Security recommended that Brandon leave, but of course he showed up at the after party. Davis is so self-centered and ignorant that he never even apologized for ruining his friend's party. Sweet.

Are You Freakin' High?

The O.C. series finale was last week and the characters will presumably live happily ever after in Berkeley if the fabulous gay couple that owned the home don't have sellers' remorse. Mischa Barton, the actress that reps the Keds brand and whose character was killed off in last season's O.C. finale, kicked back with a joint in Los Angeles. We knew there was a reason she dated Brandon Davis.

A Few Suggestions, If We May

Paris Hilton and her wonky eye went out to lunch in New York last week with Brandon Davis and the NY Post claimed she followed it up with some cocaine. Clearly there is something white in her nose and her tortured publicist, Eliot Mintz, responded with, "I can tell you Paris does not use narcotics. I would imagine [it's] something like whipped cream or a sugary substance from dessert. Something that naturally might have found it's way to onto her face if she touched her nose or whatever. I'd label it a stray dessert." Wow, that is creative. This guy definitely deserves a raise. Not that anyone believes him, but he does get an A for effort. Paris should take a cue from arch-enemy Lindsay Lohan and cut her coke with Strawberry Quik so the pink powder blends in with the inside of her nose. OR....and we're reaching here, Paris could think about giving drugs up altogether. Perhaps use her time and money for the benefit of others. It's called charity and it's all the rage amongst New York's social set. Ideally she would just go far, far away from here, but that seems to be a near impossibility. We can dream.

A Brit Brit Break From Studying

Forgive us for what will be a sporadic week of posts as we study for a very big and very important final exam. There may be days that we might not be able to blog at all, and we apologize in advance. We will however, be back in business next Monday. Brit Brit unveiled her latest look over the weekend which we must say is much better than what we've been seeing. She's still not where she could be, but thank God she's not where she was. Also unveiled was her new boyfriend, Jonathan J.R. Rotem, with whom she went out with on Saturday night and ended up back at his apartment at 3 in the morning. The two took in a movie on Sunday as well as lunch. Here they are sharing a cigarette and a kiss. Uh-oh, kisses tend to lead to other things that lead to idiot husbands but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.According to J.R., he is a multi-platinum producer and has worked with Britney, Paris Hilton, 50 Cent, The Game, and is collaborating with Brit Brit on her new album...IF she ever gets around to putting one out. The way her career has been going, she'll get pregnant again by whomever, maybe this dude, maybe Brandon Davis and then ugh. And what's with that cheesy keyboard necklace? And the dippity-do'd hair and the come hither, do I look sexy bedroom eyes? Okay we'll stop now. But seriously the row of diamond tennis bracelets are more gay than street. Just so you know.

Britney & Brandon Sittin' In A Tree

Brit Brit turned the big 25 on Saturday and celebrated with a day at the zoo with little Sean Preston and an all-nighter at the clubs in LA. She began her birthday weekend hanging out with yucky Brandon Davis and Page Six reported today that the two of them are so close that they even spend time in the bathroom together. We wonder what they're doing in there.

Lifestyles Of The Poor And Infamous

In early June of this year Brandon Davis made his debut here on the blog with his outrageously obnoxious behavior which was all caught on video. The saga continued throughout the summer as his family looked on in horror while being ostracized from fashionable social circles. In September Brandon was denied entry into a NY club and it has been all downhill from there. The doormen at Hyde in L.A. have put him on a pay-no-mind list and his frequent denials have been videotaped for our viewing pleasure. This week Karma showed her hand with a story in the NY Post which details the true nature of the self-professed rich kid. Brandon owes money to several of his friends including producer Scott Storch, Palms casino owner George Maloof, and most notably Joe Francis, creator of the 'Girls Gone Wild' empire, to whom Brandon bounced a check. The Post obtained a copy of the check for $10,000 which states it was refused for 'insufficient funds.' What's worse is that Brandon's response to his friend on the telephone regarding the debt was "F*ck you." So to recap, Brandon is living with Paris Hilton as his mother and grandmother have had to sell their homes, he has a nasty cocaine and alcohol addiction, he's deep in debt, and now he has no friends. Brandon Davis-Zero. Karma-One.

How To Lose It All In 7 Days

Last Thursday following the VMA's, Paris Hilton was brought to tears outside of Manhattan hotspot Bungalow 8 when she was turned away at the door. Perhaps she shouldn't have looked so smug when former friend Tara Reid was denied entrance the week before at LA club Hyde. Idiot Brandon Davis tussled with the NYPD and we can hear Lohan laughing from Europe.

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

In an effort to be famous for some reason other than being a porn star, Paris Hilton released an album last week after many years of threatening to do so. In the first week, she sold 75,000 copies which is not very many and Soundscan projects that Paris will sell only 30,000 copies this week. In a recent interview Paris said of her album, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good." While she lies to herself about her musical talent, Paris is also lying in interviews to improve her promiscuous image. She is telling anyone that will listen that she will not have sex for a year and that she has only had sex with two guys. Yes, in her lifetime. Two. Moving on, the son of Cher and Gregg Allman, Elijah Blue Allman, was on Howard Stern last week and told of his sexual experience with Paris before she was famous. 'He got nervous right afterward that he might have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from her. Allman says he was so worried, he raced downstairs and grabbed a household cleaning product to pour over his private parts and "disinfect" them.' As for her BFF, Brandon Davis, Life & Style reports that his family is selling their home so he has moved in with Paris, and that "They're hooking up, but she doesn't want anyone to know about it. It's being kept very hush-hush." While Paris is not the brightest gal, at least she's smart enough not to want people to know she's with Brandon. We'll give her that.

Lonely, Lonely Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is quickly replacing Tara Reid as the joke around Hollywood. First she was publicly berated by her boss, then her UK record company fired her. Apparently Lindsay did not receive what she perceives to be enough attention from Daddy and told Elle about her many sexual conquests, most of whom were far older than she. Lindsay's promiscuity has already garnered her the title of "Slut" which is not good, especially for a twenty-year-old. That label will stick with her for life. Her once cute personality has been drastically altered by cocaine and alcohol and now she is a self-centered, bitter, irresponsible brat who bad-mouths her friends and family as well as other celebrities. Her public image is one of an insecure and pathetic loser. Last week she was banned from Justin Timberlake's performance in L.A. at the House of Blues because "The last thing his label wants is Lindsay getting hammered and making a spectacle of herself." Music super-producer Scott Storch re-ignited the "We Hate Lindsay" movement by proclaiming, "We're actually celebrating Firecrotch Day," to a crowd of photogs, fans and tourists in L.A. while the Hilton sisters and Brandon Davis laughed. The moniker's originator, Davis, took the microphone at Paris' album release party in Miami and told the crowd, "I wrote a special new song called 'Firecrotch', and it's for Lindsay Lohan!" To top things off, she seems to have lost her bra.

Delusion Of The Day

Brandon Davis is quietly making the rounds getting his waste on in L.A. after spending a few weeks in Malibu. Unfortunately for him, however, he was photographed kissing Paris Hilton whom his grandmother will definitely not approve of, considering she has herpes and is a porn-star. Speaking of Paris, she gave an interview to the Sunday Times of London and said, "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde - like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana - and right now, I'm that icon." The statement is so disturbing in so many ways, we're not sure where to begin. In fact, we just plain give up. You win, Paris.

Poor Little Rich Kid

There had been reports that obnoxious drunk Brandon Davis had entered rehab this week at the urging of his mother. Those reports, however, were wrong. Brandon, who did a 2001 stint in rehab for alcohol and cocaine abuse, has apparently not embarrassed himself or his friends and family enough to grow the f-ck up. While his irresponsible drinking has lost him countless friends and got him turned away at L.A.'s hottest club (Hyde) the other night, he continues to act like a complete ass. Perhaps his mother should start with teaching him how to shower and then work her way up to respectable behavior. Everything at once might seem a little overwhelming.

Lohan Leaves Us Speechless

First of all, the long shorts are ridiculous and this "trendy" phase needs to end soon for everybody's well-being. And the LEATHER shorts with matching shoes and hat is beyond words so we'll move on. After the whole Brandon Davis shouting mean things about Lindsay situation was resolved (and Brandon promised never to call her "fire-crotch" again), his grandmother mistakenly told some of her friends that the two kids were dating. Lindsay's rep responded with this statement: "Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon's apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas." Yes, you read that correctly. Several men.

Obnoxious Is As Obnoxious Does

Brandon Davis is back in the papers and yes, he is always sweaty and disgusting. There was a time when he was the boyfriend of Mischa Barton, but now he's just an ass. Last year he publicly criticized Paris Hilton saying he could no longer be friends with her, but last week he and Paris were BFF again. Brandon went on a tirade saying horrible things about Lindsay Lohan (you can watch the video at TMZ.com) while Paris encouraged him to slam her former BFF (last year Paris and Lindsay were plotting against the Simpson sisters). Among Brandon's insults was that Lindsay is worth $7 million which makes her really poor and that she lives in a motel in New York. Obviously Brandon doesn't read Vanity Fair or he would know that his own family is the joke around town, but surely he is aware that his grandmother had to sell the family home and most of their belongings after his grandfather's death in 2004. She was subsequently sued by her daughter, and lawyers are saying there is no money at all, for anyone. Perhaps he remembered this the next morning when he publicly apologized to Lindsay via the New York Post, calling her a close friend. It's an old saying but it still rings true: With friends like these, who needs enemies? No apology will ever make up for this behavior and we can't wait for Karma to step in. We've heard she can be a bitch.