Employee Of The Month

Our favorite newlyweds, Nick and Jessica, have been making news this week as they navigate the dating waters. Nick and girlfriend of one-year, Vanessa Minnillo were in Mexico last week and were photographed having sex in an outdoor hot tub. The results have been described as porn-like and the milder photos are above. The duo hired a lawyer who threatened to sue if the photos were published anywhere. This is shortly after Vanessa responded to her other set of naughty photos with Lohan. For his part, Lachey said, "It's not like I was with a Mexican hooker. Where's the scandal?" Alrighty then. Oh, and Jessica is dating Dane Cook again. Who? Exactly.

Heidi And Spencer Really Want To Be Famous

Those crazy Hills kids have gone and gotten themselves engaged. Yeah. Like to be married. As you may have guessed, it was all filmed for the upcoming season. Svengali master Spencer is even in talks with MTV that he and Heidi star in a new "reality" series like The Newlyweds. That was 2 references to Nick tonight. When it rains, it pours.

Lohan Is So Very, Very Scandalous

Wow. Lindsay Lohan is frickin' worldwide, yo. The News of the World did it again to the rehabbed Lohan by publishing photos of her really wasted. Like, really. Wasted. It appears that she is hanging out with Vannessa Minnillo, the true love of our boy, Nick. Oh, and the obviously planted story by Lindsay's peeps is that Samantha Ronson has a deal with the tabloids to give them photo opportunities, much like last weekend when she stopped at the gas station although she had nearly a full tank of gas in the car. We're guessing Samantha took the above photos so that theory sounds about right. New details emerged regarding the Dee-Wee night including that Lohan was calling Samantha a lesbian-something. The cocaine found in the car? Samantha's. She was the only one that had it. Together now......Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, poor Lindsay.

Nick Is All Sorts Of Bothered

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo made the news recently when they moved in together in New York City. The couple has been together for a year. Vanessa and MTV just announced that she was leaving her role with TRL and the network. She just released scents or something called Flirt! Whatever. Nick got pissed at a guy that ran into Vanessa causing her to fall at a Kentucky Derby after party. You tell him, kid.

The New Divorcees

The Daily News reported that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are definitely an item and spent the New Year in NYC. They dined at Country, shopped at Barneys and celebrated at the Hudson Hotel along with Christina Aguilera and her husband. The News claims the couple were "making out" during the New Year's party and we can't believe people still say "making out." They also claim that one of John's friends asked their reporter to get some drugs for him. Across town, Nick Lachey and Vannessa Minnillo were celebrating at the MTV countdown party and then at Marquee. They have been dating for 8 months now. In other Newlyweds news, Nick and Jessica's divorce settlement was just finalized in Los Angeles, although the terms have been sealed and they signed a confidentiality agreement. We wonder who got the $1500 sheet set that she never took out of the package.

What A Way To Make A Livin'

Poor Jessica Simpson totally dropped the ball over the weekend during a performance at The Kennedy Center Honors. For our readers overseas, these are like super prestigious awards in Washingon, D.C. at The Kennedy Center and the President and First Lady attend as well as foreign dignitaries and Hollywood peeps. If there is one place to be prepared and on point, this would be it. During a performance of "9 to 5" in homage to Dolly Parton, one of this year's honorees, Jessica appeared to forget the words, mumbled "so nervous" and walked off the stage. At least she didn't do an Irish jig like her little sis Ashlee did when she messed up on Saturday Night Live, but it was still a big no-no for a seasoned performer like Miss Simpson. When the performers returned to the stage to take their bows, Jessica was in tears. Papa Joe has not released a statement regarding the flub. In related news, Nick just bought into a minor league baseball team in Seattle as one-third owner. We love Nick.

Nicholas Scott Lachey

It was 33 years ago today that Nick Lachey was born in Harlan, Kentucky. Just so you know.

A Public Affair

Papa Joe Simpson made an example of Rob Shuter yesterday by firing him as publicist for his daughter Jessica, as well as Ashlee. Last week two cover stories featured Jessica being "in love" with singer John Mayer, prompting Mayer to distance himself from her amid claims she was using him for publicity and she seemed desperate. Ouch. All of this completely overshadowed the fact that Jess had a new album coming out which subsequently sold less units than Nick's album. Then there were reports in the NY papers that Jessica was out at The Hog Pit in Manhattan last week (above photo) with the crew from Jackass including Johnny Knoxville and an 'US Weekly' interview with Bam Magera regarding the whole cheating on Nick thing. Then October 'Glamour' published an interview with Jessica talking about her crazy lips, "I had that Restylane stuff," she says. "It looked fake to me. I didn't like that. But...it went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!" So that's one bruised vocal chord, two or three horrible performances on TV, a big night out, two "I'm in love!" cover stories, one unfaithful wife story and a plastic surgery story to round it out. Wow. Way to promote the album.

Holy Dunzo-Rama

A couple of summers ago MTV launched the "reality" series Laguna Beach focusing on the lives of very wealthy teens and their dramas in Laguna Beach, California. Lauren (left) and Kristin (right) were rival cool girls both involved with Stephen while Jason (left) was dating Jessica who was best friends with Kristin, then they broke up and he dated Alex M then moved on to Lauren who was called "LC" at the time, and then he kissed Jessica and Lauren saw it and they broke up, then Lauren got her own MTV show called The Hills and then Lauren and Jason got back together and she gave up an internship in Paris to spend the summer with Jason in Malibu. Meanwhile, Kristin called it quits with Stephen and went on to host a party planning show which was promptly cancelled and began dating Brody Jenner (right, son of Bruce Jenner who also had a reality show which we never watched) after Laguna friend Talan, who dated Lindsay and was briefly engaged to Kimberly, introduced the two but then Kristin and Brody broke up and she briefly dated Nick, and then she and Brody got back together. Now this week, both couples have announced their break-ups. Got it?

Nick Lachey Update

Nick has a thing for brunettes and is now dating Vanessa Minnillo of Entertainment Tonight and TRL. The stats on Vanessa: she was born on an Army base in the Philippines in 1980, was Miss Teen Usa 1998, was recently dating Derek Jeter of the Yankees, appeared in Nick's new video for 'What's Left Of Me' and her favorite recording artist is Ashlee Simpson. Nick and Vanessa have both denied that they are dating so we are led to believe that Hollywood friends always take romantic vacations in Mexico or maybe they are just using each other for something. We wonder what that could be.

UPDATE: Nick and Jessica's divorce became final late this afternoon so he is officially back on the market.

Jessica Who?

Meet Kim Kardashian, a stylist that is now dating Nick Lachey. Kim is 25 years old and the daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, a lawyer on O.J Simpson's dream team. Like Nick, Kim is also divorced and she has a semi-famous sister that appeared on a reality show while Nick's brother, Drew, won the reality competition Dancing With The Stars this past season. With his album staying in the top 20 and the new gal on his arm, Nick seems to be doing very well indeed. Congrats.

Money, Baby, Money

Alyssa Milano and our boy Nick spent some time together at the GM fashion show on Tuesday night, having already spent time together at the Fun, Fearless, Male Awards last week. Against our advice, Nick accepted $500,000 to appear in a fitness infomercial with Brooke Burke which he does not have to share with his cheatin' ex, Jessica Simpson, as they were separated already when he signed the deal.

First Rebound Of The Season

We absolutely love Nick Lachey and apparently this young lady does too. Meet Elizabeth Arnold, aka Miss Kentucky 2001, and Nick's date for a night out in Los Angeles. Aside from the baseball hat she looks kind of cute.

Tabloids Are Funny

It's crunch time for Victoria Gotti and Bonnie Fuller after Nick and Jessica announced they broke up. Celebrity Living has the WORLD EXCLUSIVE story on their plans to adopt a baby, and Star has a photo of a pregnant Jessica. Gotti beats out Fuller with her fake baby story because she doesn't have to do the miscarriage story like Star did to follow up the fake pregnancy they gave Demi Moore over the summer. It's only a matter of time before Gotti and Fuller start directly attacking each other and somebody gets whacked. We miss The Sopranos.

We Love Nick

Five days after officially announcing his split from wife Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey and the WB network started promoting the new show Nick will star in as a 'newlywed' baseball player. The show is being developed by a co-creator of 'Mad About You' and is set to air next fall. Here's hoping his tv marriage lasts longer than his real one.

The Time Has Come

Jessica and Nick released a statement denying a break-up (we've heard that before), but Jess was in Vegas over the weekend at Ashlee's 21st birthday party and Nick was a no-show. Chin-up Nick. xoxo

What Would Jesus Say, Jessica?

Miss Jessica has been a bit truculent with the paparazzi lately and has been photographed at least three times in the past month not wearing any wedding ring. There has been no response to reports that the 'Newlyweds' have already signed divorce papers and recent news has been all about little sis Ashley. The WB has hired Warren Littlefield (of Friends and Seinfeld) and Darren Starr to develop the station and they are allegedly creating a show just for Nick. We can't wait. We love Nick.

Three Strikes, You're OUT!

And rounding out the group is Nick. Every team needs a pinch hitter. Go get em' kid.

Jessica-Post Radio Station Fiasco

Seemingly unfazed that two people have given radio interviews confirming that she was unfaithful, Jess showed up at the MTV Movie Awards with her husband Nick and worked the cameras. We're not sure why neither she nor Nick has commented on the fact that the very personal details of her sex life are public knowledge. One would think they would defend her honor but that probably doesn't fit into the master plan of spin that has made her a household name. OK! magazine is offering $1 million to Jess for the story of her break-up, whenever that may occur. So basically, she gets paid if they divorce. Which we all know they will any moment now. And she is looking more and more like her assistant/best friend/girlfriend everyday. Her hair looks so much like Cacee's, we half expect to see a photo of her with a new short hairstyle.

And the plot thickens.