The Freaks Come Out At Night

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes attended the Vanity Fair Oscar party and the TomKat freak flag was at full mast. According to reports, "Take a shot of her," he told photographers. But according to an onlooker, the 28-year-old actress refused to take a picture without him. Cruise then led Holmes around by the hand, pulling her back and forth while he mingled and she remained silent. Cruise greeted a few photographers but didn't introduce his wife, who said nothing and stood next to her husband, waiting for him to finish his conversations. He later asked her again to pose for a picture alone, and she finally agreed. "She looks at him for direction," at all times. The Scientard evolution is complete.

Make It Stop

When will Anna Nicole Smith finally be laid to rest? Seriously. Her mother claims to love her yet she insists on holding up the burial. Judge Seidlin rejected the devil's request for a stay in his ruling so the case has been appealed to another court. If Virgie Arthur would simply drop her desperate attempt for attention and money, then Anna Nicole would be at peace next to her son. Now the devil has filed for paternity of Dannielynn in a Bahamian court. Meanwhile, Howard K. Stern allowed Larry Birkhead to visit with his daughter over the weekend and the two are close to an agreement regarding custody. In terms of custody the courts in the Bahamas first look to the birth certificate which lists Howard, and then they consider factors such as education, financial means and home environment. Lucky for Dannielynn, the devil known as Virgie has none of these factors going for her.

I Heart Brad Pitt

The Royal Brangelina Family is rumored to be expanding their brood with a new addition from Vietnam. The family has been living in their $3.5 million New Orleans mansion while Brad is filming a movie in the city. The tabloids that I read on the plane down here to Miami are obsessed with the weight that Angelina has allegedly lost since her mother passed away after a battle with cancer last month. While Brad co-produced The Departed as well as Babel, he opted out of attending the Oscars on Sunday to stay home with his family. Could they be any more perfect?

A Friend Is, As A Friend Does

Paris Hilton turned 26 last weekend and the party she threw for herself was a bust in more ways than one. First of all, the only "celebrity" that attended of her own free-will was her sister, Nicky Hilton. Even Nicole Richie was a no-show even after Paris promised the crowd that she would be arriving soon. Paula Abdul and Courtney Love were in attendance briefly as their people arranged for them to attend in a desperate attempt to gain publicity for them. Paula is battling rumors that she's a pill-popping drunk and is currently filming a reality show called "Hey Paula." Courtney is promoting a yet to be released comeback album and brought her daughter Frances Bean to the party which was billed as a family celebration. Brandon Davis changed all that with his obnoxious behavior. BIG surprise. He mocked Paula's middle-eastern heritage and threw flowers and styrofoam at her...causing her to leave before she was able to sing her scheduled "Happy Birthday" song. Brandon dragged Courtney Love onto his lap in front of her daughter and she promptly left as well. Security recommended that Brandon leave, but of course he showed up at the after party. Davis is so self-centered and ignorant that he never even apologized for ruining his friend's party. Sweet.

Got Weed?

Prior to the big Oscar awards show, BFF's Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore went to Hawaii to celebrate Drew's 32nd birthday. And celebrate they did.

Are You Freakin' High?

The O.C. series finale was last week and the characters will presumably live happily ever after in Berkeley if the fabulous gay couple that owned the home don't have sellers' remorse. Mischa Barton, the actress that reps the Keds brand and whose character was killed off in last season's O.C. finale, kicked back with a joint in Los Angeles. We knew there was a reason she dated Brandon Davis.

What Is The World Coming To?

The powers that are overseeing Britney Spears' career have finally stepped in, just in time for damage control. Following her meltdown of late, they are now working the post-partum angle in order to explain her behavior which has culminated in her getting wasted for months on end, flashing her unclothed nether regions, and the coup de resistance of shaving her head. Her two quickly marriages and the subsequent interview, not to mention the Chaos series, have yet to be justified. Brit Brit's co-star in that reality show, K-Fed, was kind enough to visit her in rehab twice in the past week. Perhaps he's not so awful after all. Can you believe I actually just said that? Yeah, neither can I.

My Bologna Has A First Name

It's O-S-C-A-R. I think we may have used that same post title last year so we apologize in advance for the lack of creativity if that is indeed true. While we enjoy the amazing Miami weather and sip cocktails by the pool, it's easy to leave last week's Britney and Anna drama behind. Well, not that easy...more to come regarding them both shortly. The frontrunners in this year's Oscar race are Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson. Best director may be Martin Scorcese and Best Picture may be Babel which was produced by Brad Pitt and starred Brad Pitt. Right now they're giving all the boring awards while the majority of the television viewers drink wine and laugh with brilliant host, Ellen. Here are some arrivals and while it's difficult to see the massiveness of the bow that Nicole Kidman has on her shoulder, take our word for it. She is totally channeling Charlize Theron.

Finally It's Friday

It's been more than 24 hours and Britney Spears is still in rehab which is saying a lot. If she doesn't stay for 30 to 45 days, the kids go to the Fedster. Here are the pics of her losing her mind Wednesday night outside of K-Fed's place when she couldn't get inside to see him. Her mother drove her directly to Promises following the meltdown which was probably the best idea for everyone involved. We're off to Miami in a few hours, but we'll bring our laptop in case anything exciting happens that you need to know about. Oh, and Debra Opri is still being annoying down in Ft. Lauderdale as she goes on ad nauseum about how she's from New York. When the judge considering the paternity thing told Opri that her last statement was quite the run-on sentence, her co-counsel said, "She's from New York." What the hell does that mean? Oh, and the devil's lawyer announced they would be seeking a stay, meaning Anna's body can not be buried. Hey, Virgie, you lost. Just so you know.

Meet The Barkers

Remember when Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler totally hated one another? Well, we do. They both said awful, nasty things on their blogs and were gearing up for a big-time divorce. Now they are super close, as the above photo in Vegas demonstrates. The word is that she's preggers. AGAIN! This will be her 4th child (his 3rd) if the rumor is true. Maybe this means they'll be back on MTV? Fabulous.

Idol Chatter

Lakisha Jones holds the top spot, by far, on Season 6 of American Idol. The Fox network continues to have all clips from Idol pulled from YouTube so above is her performance of "And I'm telling you" from a 2005 competition. She now has long hair and sang a better version on Wednesday night, but you get the idea. She rocks. For the guys, Sanjaya Malakar (below) received poor reviews after his performance on Tuesday from the judges, but finished in the top 4 according to Ryan Seacrest. DialIdol places him as number 2 based on voting volume. At 17, Sanjaya is the youngest in the competition with the closest singer in age being 8 years older than him. He is also the first Indian-American contestant to make the finals in 6 seasons. Good luck to him, but it's going to take a big effort from him and voters to surpass powerhouse Lakisha. And yes, this is our first ever American Idol post and we're acknowledging that we have been watching for years. Consider this to be our "coming out."

The Anna Nicole Smith Ruling

Judge Seidlin is about to rule in the case. We're guessing he will allow Anna to be buried next to her son Daniel in the Bahamas. Virgie Arthur's witnesses both said that Anna should be next to her son. The judge repeated to her lawyers, "This is your witness," because they both testified in favor of Howard K. Stern taking Anna to be buried next to Daniel. More to come as it happens. *Update: The judge just ruled that the remains of Anna will be flown to the Bahamas immediately so that she may be buried next to her son. He was crying during his ruling and gave custody to Richard Millstein, the guardian ad litem, for Danielynn. The court is now being cleared so that Arthur, Stern and Birkhead can meet to discuss the burial in the Bahamas. Two weeks after her death, Smith will finally be put to rest.

The Devil Presents Her Case

Lawyers for Virgie Arthur have put Ford Shelley on the stand to testify in the hearing. They tried to play the above video for the court, but had trouble with it so they have not been able to view it yet. Shelley is the son-in-law of G. Ben Thompson, the man that claims to own Anna's Bahamas house. The little girl painting Anna's face in the clip is Shelley's daughter. Shelley broke into Anna's house and stole the video which he sold to the media. Oh, they just viewed it. Below is G. Ben Thompson. He's yucky.

Debra Opri Is Annoying

Debra Opri, the lawyer for Larry Birkhead, is about to get herself thrown out of the courtroom in Florida. She started out the hearing the other day by accusing Stern of murdering Anna. She incessantly argues with the judge and just admitted that she is setting a trap for the judge. She constantly refers to herself as a New Yorker like the judge, as if that creates a bond between them. The judge just said he is from Florida and told her not to test him anymore. She sucks.

Third Time's A Charm?

Britney Spears has entered rehab for the third time in one week. The emergency hearing in family court was cancelled by Kevin after Brit agreed to get help. Again. Their two boys have been with Kevin and his mother since Brit's breakdown. Her mother, Lynne, is reportedly helping care for the boys as well. If Brit leaves rehab, the Fedster will go ahead with his effort to keep her away from their sons. The latest gossip is that Britney has been snorting crystal meth and not cocaine. Gross.

Lovely Little Lohan

Lohan finished her out-patient treatment at the Wonderland rehab facility and has been making the club rounds in Los Angeles. Wow. She is glowing.

Babies For Bree

Congrats to Marcia Cross, Bree Vandekamp on Desperate Housewives, on the birth of her fraternal twin girls Eden and Savannah. Cross was due to give birth in April and has been on bedrest since January. A spokesperson said she and the babies are healthy and doing well.

The Fedster Strikes Back

Kevin Federline, aka the Fedster, aka K-Fed, aka that guy that married Britney Spears, is scheduled to appear with his lawyer at an emergency hearing in family law court this morning. A supreme court spokesperson said, "Our best information is he will be here; she won't, but anything is possible." Ain't that the truth? Brit Brit visited a lawyer's office in West Hollywood yesterday and then spent the night at the Bel-Air Hotel (the lawyer handled a case for Reese Witherspoon in her battle with the paparazzi). The rumor is that Kevin will not allow Britney to see their sons in her present state. It is open season for the gossip mags and everyone from her former nanny to her hometown friends are speaking out about Britney. Of course, many "sources" are talking about Brit's excessive drug use, ecstasy and cocaine being her favorites. Brit's former nanny said, "Britney didn't ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life. The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend....Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, 'I'm done now. You can take them." When Sean gets too attached to a nanny, Britney fires her. Poor kid.

It's All About The Money

The money that Splash News paid Vergie Arthur for the above photo and a video is coming into play in the Florida courtroom where a judge is deciding the fate of Anna Nicole Smith. The lawyer for Howard K. Stern presented a contract between Splash News and The Insider in which Splash would be paid at least $20,000 for video of Arthur doing her song and dance at Daniel Smith's gravesite. Krista Barth, Stern's lawyer asked Virgie, "Have you in any fashion profited at all from the death of your daughter?" Arthur stared for a moment. "I'm trying to process that question," she said. The judge directly asked her and Arthur stuttered and never answered the question. Arthur also testified in her hillbilly accent that she wanted to exhume the body of Daniel and have him buried in Texas. WHAT?!?! This lady is psycho and is putting on a show so she can profit further. Her lawyers are claiming that Anna's will is invalid because she wants to get her hands on Anna's estate. Nevermind that Anna, in her own words, said "You want to hear all the things she did to me? You want to hear all the things she let my father do to me or my brother do to me? Or my sister? All the beatings and the whippin's and the rape? That's my mother. That's my mom." A representative from Splash News has just been subpoenaed to testify in the proceedings so we should see what the real story is tomorrow. As if we didn't already know.

*Update: Virgie Arthur was just recalled to the stand and admitted that she traveled to the Bahamas with David Lee, from Splash News, and that the company paid for her airline tickets, accommodations, etc. During the lunch break, Stern and Arthur were permitted to view Anna's body and David Lee went in the car with her to the medical examiner's office. The independent lawyer appointed by the judge is questioning her right now because a helicoptor from Splash News was hovering over the medical office. The judge just asked her how much money she brings in a month: Her pension is $3500 a month, her husband makes $2400 a month. She said her house is worth about $60,000/$70,000 and is almost paid off.

Britney Bails Out Again

Brit Brit called a car service this morning to pick her up from the Promises rehab facility after staying there for one day. Holy deja vu.

Little Girl Lost

The first photos of Britney Spears in rehab have, obviously, reached the internet. Hopefully Promises specializes in more than treatment for alcohol and drugs as it seems as if Brit Brit is suffering from some post-partum depression. Post-divorce depression. Post-cheating on Justin Timberlake depression. Add all of that onto the fact that her aunt just passed away after battling breast cancer and one could see how she might have a meltdown. Unfortunately she shaved her head. Every single day for the next 10 years she'll be reminded of that when she looks in the mirror. Maybe someone will invent a fast-growing hair pill and she can cut that time in half but....probably not. Get well Mouseketeer.

Wacky Jackie

Jackie Hatten, a virtual nobody, has been making the rounds on the cable networks trying to profit from the death of Anna Nicole Smith. Hatten is truly pathetic and will most likely return to obscurity (hopefully) before too long, but we'd like to take this opportunity to call her bluff. She appeared out of nowhere shortly after Anna's death and claimed to be her best friend. She continues to refer to Anna as "my friend" as demonstrated in the above clip, and we're curious as to why no one has ever seen her on Anna's reality show, nor with Anna at any events. Jackie claims that Anna wanted her to be Dannielynn's Godmother, yet the two had not spoken for at least six years. How does that work? Jackie's brother primarily goes by the name Mark Richmond Fetters and is currently serving a 7 year sentence for stalking Anna. Naturally, Jackie blames Howard K. Stern for setting her brother up, and the lawyer in the above clip was Mark's lawyer in the stalking case. First of all, Howard K. Stern does not have the power to have an innocent man convicted of a sentence he didn't commit. Secondly, this lady smokes crack. Seriously. Hatten and her brother are so desperate for attention that Mark wrote a letter to the editor of TMZ.com in which he claims he could be the father of Dannielynn. Below is the letter in all its glory. Now it's time for Jackie Hatten to go away. Cut. Scene.

Rehab Redux

Britney Spears has entered rehab. Again. The Enquirer claims her father drove her to the Promises center in Malibu yesterday at 5 pm. Her manager, Larry Rudolph, just released this statement to People magazine, "Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today. We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time." The London papers reported that Brit Brit showed up at the Mondrian on Sunday morning sans bodyguards and looked as if she'd been up all night. She sat by the pool drinking a pitcher of Mojitos and proceeded to shave her legs at the pool. She tried to rent a room but had no credit cards or cash, only a partial card number written on a scrap of paper. She also tried to rent a car, but struck out there too. She then asked a stranger sitting at the pool if she could borrow her bikini. The nice girl agreed. Eventually some guests that did not know Britney invited her to join them in their hotel room. Reportedly Brit continued to repeat, "Nobody wants me." So sad.

The Devil Wears Polyester

The entire interview, uncut, from ET/The Insider was just played for the court in the Anna Nicole Smith case. Anna talked about how much she hated her mother, Vergie Arthur, above, and about how evil the woman is. Previously we heard about the beatings and whoopings that Anna received during her childhood up until she was 21 years of age. (Part of the interview is below.) Producers cut out certain statements for television viewing, but in the courtroom just now, the tape showed Anna talking about rape. Yes, rape. Anna talked about how Vergie let her stepfather, brother and sister do horrible things to her when she was a child. There was also mention of Vergie being in Anna's bed. Ewwwwww. Vergie Arthur is Satan.

The Beat Goes On

The proceedings today were supposed to be focused on the burial of Anna Nicole Smith and now the judge has said, "I'm assuming jurisdiction over motions in the paternity case." He went on to say that Dannielynn needs to know who her father is so that she may grow up to take piano lessons, violin lessons and play some tennis. The judge is a character who loves to say things like, "Did I take your thunder? I took your thunder?" in his thick Bronx accent. Howard Stern's lawyer is annoying and began the day telling the judge and court that she hadn't slept in five days so that she could prepare a brief. The judge asked her if she wanted a medal. (Not really, I made that part up.)

The Brady Bunch

A publicist for actress Bridget Moynihan (above) released a statement this morning confirming that "she is over three months pregnant. Former boyfriend Tom Brady is the father." The pair broke up in late November, 2006. Brady, 29, has been dating supermodel Gisele Bundchen (below) who previously dated Leonardo DiCaprio and more recently Kelly Slater. Moynihan, 36, was in I, Robot and Coyote Ugly. A rep for the New England Patriots declined to comment on their quarterback and the fine mess he's gotten himself into. Best of luck to all involved.

Court Is In Session

All the players are present in the Ft. Lauderdale courtroom including Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead as the fight for Anna Nicole Smith gets its groove on. Anna's former bodyguard and friend, Mo, arrived with Howard and is expected to testify that Anna wanted to be buried in the Bahamas next to Daniel. Over the weekend, Shane Gibson, the Bahamian immigration minister, resigned from his position due to the controversy surrounding Anna, but maintains that he did not have an inappropriate relationship with her. The most shocking news out of Florida is that Anna's birth father, Don Hogan, whom abandoned her as a baby, is present in the court. Her psycho mother, Vergie Arthur, is also present. More to come in a moment.

So Many Questions

Brit Brit donned a Barbie wig last night in Los Angeles when she stopped by clubs, The Roxy and The Polo Lounge. Shouldn't she be in a psych ward somewhere? Where is her mother? Manager? Bueller?

One Step Closer To Peace

The body of Anna Nicole Smith was embalmed today, nine days after her death. Her last will and testament was presented in a Florida court yesterday and the only detail that is certain is that Howard K. Stern is the executor. Her estate was left to her now deceased son Daniel with a special provision that excludes all of her family members including spouses, her mother and any future children. The will was drafted in 2001 and provides for Stern to distribute all of her assets to Daniel. Stern said in one of his ET interviews that everything will now go to Dannielynn, but various probate lawyers have disputed this on Court TV. I'm just happy that Anna's body has finally been preserved for burial, wherever that may be. That question will allegedly be answered this Tuesday in Ft. Lauderdale. Stern has been ordered to testify and the judge has assured that he will only be questioned in regards to Anna's burial, meaning that he will not be questioned about paternity of Dannielynn. Of course, Anna's money-grubbing, evil mother is claiming that Anna's will is not valid. She sucks.

Stop Touching Me!

Here's an explanation of why Brit Brit shaved her head. Sort of.

Regrets, I've Had A Few

The whole story is that Brit Brit went to a beauty salon and asked the stylist to shave her head. The stylist refused, so Brit did it herself. Then she went to the tattoo parlor. The tattoo is reportedly on her wrist, not her neck. The gossip rags are continuing with the gay rumors that have plagued Brit for years explaining that she brought two of the female dancers from a club to spend the night in her hotel suite. That is kind of unrelated, but maybe it's not. A lot of lesbians have shaved heads. Is this her coming out? I had to actually look at the date today because I thought the bald Britney Spears story was an April Fool's joke. What is happening? Seriously. A too-short haircut is one thing. This is a totally different thing.

Brit Goes All Sinead O' Connor

Yes, that is Britney Spears. Yes, she shaved her head. Brit Brit showed up at a tattoo parlor unannounced in the San Fernando Valley last night with her head shaved and had a pair of small red and pink lips tattoo's put on the back of her neck. Alrighty then.

Rehab For The Britster

Britney Spears left NYC earlier this week with her two sons en route to Miami following a rough week of partying in which she vomited all over herself. People magazine just reported that she traveled to Antigua from Miami and checked herself into Eric Clapton's Crossroads rehab center, and promptly checked herself out after only one day. Earlier this week, her one true love, Justin Timberlake, made the following statement at an awards show in London, "Stop drinking! You know who you are. I’m speaking to you. You are going to get sloppy. OK! magazine is going to say something bad about you." In addition, her former assistant of more than nine years, Felicia, wrote on a blog that she and the Spears family are waiting for Brit to hit rock bottom so they can get her help. It looks like that intervention happened after all.

Drunk And Drunker

Nicole Richie was charged with misdemeanor DUI today in Los Angeles in connection with her December 11th arrest. The complaint says she was under the influence of an alcoholic beverage as well as an unspecified drug. The case against her also cited a previous DUI in June of 2003 which raises the stakes for possible jail time as California law stipulates between 90 days to one year in jail if you get more than one Dee-Wee in 10 years. Nicole was leaving her boyfriend's house (Joel Madden, above) when she drove the wrong way down a freeway and then told the officer that she had taken vicodin and smoked pot. Her on-again BFF, Paris Hilton, pleaded no contest last month to alcohol-related reckless driving following her September DUI arrest and received 36 months of probation and paid a $1500 fine. At this rate their new season of The Simple Life should show the girls working in a prison. You know, for practice and all.