March 6, 2006

Sticky Fingers

Page Six reports that little Miss Tara went to the Oscar Suite at Soho House in Hollywood and sabotaged her already sullied reputation by stealing gift bags containing diamond bracelets worth $1000. A Diamond Acquifer employee said, "Tara and some friends came and swiped almost all of the gift bags. Gone! They took them all! Thieves!" We advise Tara to release a statement calling this accusation false and have her lawyer (if she has one) threaten to sue for libel. Unless of course the item is true, in which case she should hide. Forever.