Rihanna Assumes The Throne

Rihanna and Jay-Z performed at the MTV Movie Awards and she is officially the new sound of music. It's so refreshing to hear performers actually sing, and damn well at that. The above video was filmed on a 7.1 megapixel camera, but the vibe's good. (Thanks, Hemang). Viacom pulled all the actual broadcasts from YouTube so this is all we got. Enjoy.

The Hottie And The Nottie Game

Perhaps we're missing Paris already or just fascinated with the idea that she may have a movie career. "Experience being her strength." Regardless of what we think, producers are still giving her $ to appear/act in their films. Hilton's most recent role was in a film called The Hottie And The Nottie. We'll get back to you on that spelling. Or not. So here's the game...Sascha Baron Cohen at the MTV Movie Awards is definitely the Hottie. Word is Isla Fisher, Cohen's fiancee, is preggers. Moving on....
This is freakshow Spencer and Heidi from The Hills. Someone needs to tell MTV that Spencer is not 23. He has enough make-up on that we easily add a decade on that mug. He's a nottie.
John Mayer rebounded from the Jessica Simpson fling to look better than ever. He's a hottie.
As always, Brandon Davis is the epitome of a nottie.

Baby Boy, Now I'm All Grown Up

While an engagement has many a time been rumoured, this time we're thinking it's for real. Jay-Z proposed while he and Beyonce were in Cannes and they plan to marry in Hawaii this fall. Mazel tov.

Dream A Little Dream

Paris Hilton has spent one full night in jail and her lawyer said she was 'poised and gracious.' Hello? They already cut her time from 45 days to 23 days and she earned credit last night for her 22-minute "day" served. She better be pole-dancing for that judge. Papa Hilton's $ can only buy so much, then you're relying on talent. Ahem. We guess she'll do maybe a week and be let off for "good behavior." Hey, better her than us. Jail is so not cool. But at least our dream has come to fruition. She is far, far away.

Estranged Father? Check. Lesbian Affair? Check. Crazy Drugged Out Behavior? Check.

It's a good thing for Lohan that her dealer wasn't late this time. Wow. She's been hooked on the coke since at least May of 2005. Now...we're no experts, but wouldn't now be a critical point in Lindsay's life? Having your bodyguard bring you cocaine, meth, oxy, whatever, into rehab for you, may have not been the right decision but we don't want to get all motherly on you. But hey, if you're gonna go big, go Big-big. Speaking of mothers, Dina is in talks to do a reality show for E! tentatively called Mom-ager. Her father is promoting some rehab in the Hamptons, and like we said....not experts, but if you're gonna go big....go Badda-Bing big. Before her 21st Birthday Bash in Vegas, set for July 2nd, we expect to see Lohan with a heroin addiction, the result being that she gains enough emotional reserve to win herself an Oscar. Hey, it worked for Angelina.

We Are Family

Today is a monumental day here at Blogger Headquarters as we present to you, our loyal readers, Princess Anybody, or Prinny-Prinn, for short. Our gorgeous, fabulous relative will be contributing here on the blog and we could not be more thrilled! Turns out our gal is a witty writer (see below). Look forward to more genius coverage of Posh, whom Prinny told us that she was not particularly fond of. Something about Posh stealing her footballer. Yummy! Welcome, Sweetie! xoxo

A BRA cada BRA

Well, Pamela Anderson has finally arrived. She is now a magician's assistant to some weirdo at Planet Hollywood in Vegas. We've already seen proof of Pam's magical prowess with her implant disappearing and reappearing act. Now you see them, now you don't! Oh wait-now you do.

PS-This is the first post by Princess Anybody. Hopefully we can keep up the supply of posts due to our expanding Royal Family.

All Dressed Up, All the Time

Victoria Beckham was all dressed up to go.....to the airport on Saturday. We assume she had trouble locating her boarding pass, which she had apparently stuffed in her bra. Is anybody else getting tired of seeing this girl dressed in couture to get on an airplane, pump gas, go grocery shopping...Of course we all would have seen how normal her life truly is had her deal with NBC to air her ridiculous reality show not fallen through, as posted earlier by Princess Nobody. Personally, we don't care to see a Eurotrash version of "Coming to America" .

Bringin' Booty Back

Brit is all about her ba-donk-adonk these days as she vacations with her cousin/assistant person. She's looking happier, but something tells us that Britney is still not her pre-Fedster self. That nasty weave tipped us off.

Happy Birthday

Angelina opened up to Marie Claire magazine about her lack of a sex life. "Mommy and Daddy need to try to figure out more time right now. Everybody needs individual time. Shiloh has our attention when the others are at school. MadPax or Z [Zahara] . . . We're working on it; we're working on it. Right now, we're not great about Mommy-and-Daddy time." [her son Maddox] stays up the latest, so he gets the nighttime. During the day, I'll go for a walk or do something specific with Pax or Z [Zahara] . . . We're working on it; we're working on it. Right now, we're not great about Mommy-and-Daddy time." She really loves to talk it up lately. Oh, and chatty Cathy turns 32 today.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Paris Thinks She's On Punk'd

While we were watching The Sopranos last night, Jack Nicholson and an audience full of celebs laughed at Paris and her plight. Sarah Silverman hosted and considering what happened at the music awards, Paris should have been prepared to laugh at herself. This was not the case. Following the show Paris went to jail to begin her sentence. Several calls to Ashton Kutcher went unanswered.

Your Feet Look Kind Of Cold, Eva

Eva Longoria and best friend, Mario Lopez, spend a lot of time together lately. Case in point: above. Is this really necessary only one month before your wedding? And on worldwide television, no less. We're not saying, but we kind of are. Once-divorced, she is marrying a guy that is younger and hasn't exhibited the best track record during this little love match. Plus he's French. And he tries to rap.

At Least Vannessa Takes Showers

Now we're all in favor of comfort, but there must be something said for the fact that Jessica Simpson (and evidently her hairdresser, Ken Paves) have completely given up on basically everything. Is she preggers?! She and John Mayer just spent Memorial Day weekend in Cabo San Lucas where they were photographed arguing. Daisy was in John's arms. Sadness. Anyway, we digress. What we're saying is that we actually wore a cuter outfit today while working in the garden in 5-year old cargo pants rolled twice with flip-flops. At least we made an effort. This, however, is definitely not an effort. At least not that we can see.

Ryan And Simon Are "On A Break"

Bravo to the producers of American Idol for getting Ryan Seacrest to step up his, "Really, I love women" campaign. This is him on a date with a lovely girl. Better than the Teri Hatcher debacle they tried last time. Not pretty.

Tom Wouldn't Sign The Releases

Word is that Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckham has ended her negotiations with NBC to air a reality show based on her and Becks' & kids' move to Los Angeles. Something about her family is important, blah, blah, David was the focus and she was put in a corner? Random. Well, she said, "Nobody puts Posh in a corner!" and that was that. We suspect new neighbors TomKat and his cronies had something to do with it.

Heidi And Spencer Really Want To Be Famous

Those crazy Hills kids have gone and gotten themselves engaged. Yeah. Like to be married. As you may have guessed, it was all filmed for the upcoming season. Svengali master Spencer is even in talks with MTV that he and Heidi star in a new "reality" series like The Newlyweds. That was 2 references to Nick tonight. When it rains, it pours.

Lohan Is So Very, Very Scandalous

Wow. Lindsay Lohan is frickin' worldwide, yo. The News of the World did it again to the rehabbed Lohan by publishing photos of her really wasted. Like, really. Wasted. It appears that she is hanging out with Vannessa Minnillo, the true love of our boy, Nick. Oh, and the obviously planted story by Lindsay's peeps is that Samantha Ronson has a deal with the tabloids to give them photo opportunities, much like last weekend when she stopped at the gas station although she had nearly a full tank of gas in the car. We're guessing Samantha took the above photos so that theory sounds about right. New details emerged regarding the Dee-Wee night including that Lohan was calling Samantha a lesbian-something. The cocaine found in the car? Samantha's. She was the only one that had it. Together now......Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, poor Lindsay.

Fergie Finally Makes It Work

"Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie is all over the radio and with good reason. She doesn't spell anything and Taco Bell is not mentioned once. Check out the video above.

Fridays Rock

You know how you put tons of music on your Ipod and then you hear a song, but don't know what album it's from? No? Well, fuck you then. (Just play along). So we heard "Spooky Little Girl" which was being covered by a woman and this is as close as we could get to sharing the tune with you. The lack of effort is brought to you by Jose Cuervo. The song? We're still not sure. Enjoy.