Shooting Sizemore, No More

Tom Sizemore has had quite an illustrious career as an actor, then a felon, then a reality star, and now back to felon. We watched his show on VH1 and were actually rooting for the guy, and then we heard he was back on the Crystal Meth and now apparently he's going to jail. An arrest warrant was issued for him after he was caught with meth while on probation. The judge is demanding 16 months in prison. It totally sucks when famous people fuck up beyond redemption. Bummer. Based on what we've seen of this guy's mental state, he's bound for suicide. Too harsh? Maybe, but true. We'll see. Hopefully he'll prove us wrong.

How DO You Follow A Story Like This?!

Today's fun is brought to you by Marijuana. Enjoy.

All The Sordid Details

What a memorable weekend it was for Miss Lohan! First there was the big, big night out on Friday which ended up with Lindsay leaving Les Deux in Hollywood at 2:30 a.m. On the way back to her house, a visibly upset Lindsay jumped out of the chauffeur-driven SUV as she shouted, "Fuck you guys" to her friends in the car. The driver followed her as she ran down the street. Another male friend in another car also followed her and picked her up. It was off to the Mondrian Hotel where she begged the staff at the reception desk to rent her a suite, saying she would pay any price. As they were booked, Lindsay asked them to rent her a room at another hotel....then she ran into the bathroom and then left the hotel altogether. Then it was back to her apartment where the lovers' spat from hell lead to the Dee-Wee.
Shortly after arriving at her apartment, Lohan's lesbian lovah, DJ Samantha Ronson, left the building with Lindsay following after her. She was trying to stop Samantha from leaving, so she jumped in her Benz and drove up next to her yelling for her to get in the car. When Lohan saw the paparazzi filming her she threw a prescription bottle out the window at them. Samantha eventually got into the two-seater car, sitting on the lap of Lohan's passenger. That's when Lindsay lost control of her car on Sunset Boulevard, jumped the curb and hit a tree. She ran out of the car, had someone take her to hospital, had her bodyguard park her crashed car at her apartment, and subsequently got booked for a Dee-Wee and possession of drugs. Ugh.
Flash forward to 48 hours later and Lohan is passed out in the passenger's seat of Samantha's car after a night at the clubs. Then it was off to Promises for rehab. Her convict father, Michael Lohan, weighed in on the issue saying that both she and his ex-wife, Dina, (above back in the day) need to be in rehab. While we're no therapist, it does seem that her father's drug addicted, money swindling, many stints in prison, beating his wife ways seemed to play a part in this whole tragedy. Of course that's just a theory.

Britney Pours Her Heart Out

Click on the above photo to enlarge and see that Brit Brit is now wearing a ring on her wedding finger that says FUCK. Lovely. Oh and she also posted the below epic letter to her fans on her website. We wonder what cheap friends took her out and then let her pay for everything. Probably Paris. Oh, and we're hoping she doesn't mean it at the end when she says she can't wait to meet God.

Dear Fans,
I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.
It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.
Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.
This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons[sic] intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.
I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."
I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time.
I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.
I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.
I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy.
It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.
Love, Britney
Quote of the month...It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You're not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.

Get Your Priorities Straight, Kid

When is this girl going to learn? Lohan was nabbed at 6:30 Saturday morning for a Dee-Wee and faces felony charges after police found cocaine in her car. Little Miss Lindsay crashed her car into a curb at 5:30 am, and then left the scene with her passengers and went to a Century City Hospital to seek treatment for her injuries. Thankfully her passengers were not hurt. The police arrested her at the hospital and towed her car in which they found the Colombian marching powder. Not for nothing, but Lohan is driving around a 2005 Mercedes. Can't she afford a more recent Benz? Even we have a 2006 model, and we're not famous. Okay, maybe we're a little famous, but only to our dogs. And maybe the clerks at the liquor store.

Your New American Idol

The finale of American Idol was this week and Jordin Sparks won over beat-boxing Blake Lewis. No big surprise there, and we were just thankful it wasn't someone pathetic like Taylor Hicks. The 2 -hour show was highlighted by an appearance by Sanjaya Malakar who performed with Joe Perry from Aerosmith. Below is a video that Will Ferrell & Co. made of Sanjaya for his funnyordie.com site in which he pretends the whole Sanjaya persona was an art installation performed by Bill Vendall. Oh, and congratulations Jordin.

Someone's Been Naughty & Needs A Time Out

As the entire world now is aware, Rosie O'Donnell will not return to 'The View' to finish out the final 3 weeks of the season. She asked ABC to leave early and they agreed and everyone seems to be all happy and seeing rainbows. Yeah, right. Above is a caption from Rosie's blog (click on it to enlarge) which she posted this morning at rosie.com. The one about the mustache on Elisabeth's picture is in regards to a person defacing photos of her at the ABC offices on Thursday which turned out to be Rosie's head writer. Seriously. There has got to be a more mature way to handle things. Or not.

I Can't Wait To Fall In Love With You

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have been casually dating since January, and she was recently in London with him where he was working on music with Madonna. A "friend" of Justin says, "She's the coolest chick ever. He wants to be with her all the time. He's ready to be serious." While he hasn't released a video for "Summer Love" yet, you can listen to it below. It's sure to be oh-seven's song of the summer.

Shake Your Cannes-Cannes

Cannes is the place for celebs young and old, and if we may be so bold, the old are looking pretty fucking good. Of the three photos above, Angelina is the youngest and thank God she is finally out of her black phase. Yes, we know her mother passed away and she was in mourning, but still. A little color does a girl good.

New York Weathers Another Storm

Lindsay Lohan was kicked out of the Soho Grand after a meltdown that tops any of her previous escapades. Her British boytoy, Calum Best, checked into the hotel with another woman which prompted Lohan to check in with some random dude. She then went out partying and returned to the hotel and made a scene in the lobby. While the random dude and her bodyguard looked on, she was on the floor on her hands and knees, sans underwear, until the hotel staff helped her to her room. She kept trying to call Calum's room but couldn't get through so she went to his room and pounded on the door until he opened it a crack at which time she saw the girl and freaked out even more. After raging in her room all night, hotel security finally asked her to leave at 5:30 in the morning. She checked out an hour later. Sounds like it's time for someone to go back to rehab.

Does This Outfit Make Me Look Fat?

You know how people are always asking that question and everyone usually lies? Well, we have never been one to lie to a friend (or a fading pop star) so we'll just come out and say it. Yes, that outfit does make you look fat. Inevitably, the pudgy girl that asks it will get all pissed off and try to get people to gang up on the bearer of the truth, but hey, life goes on. Honesty really is the best policy and if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. OR...cover that shit up already.

Where Is Barbara Walters When You Need Her?

Wow. Elisabeth has some serious pregnancy hormones raging inside of her because girlfriend lost her shit this morning. Granted, it must be tough being the only Republican on 'The View' but screaming like a lunatic is not a good look. We love the new split screen, however. Very Judge Judy.

Perfect Is As Perfect Does

Brangelina were out in full effect at Cannes promoting A Mighty Heart which Angelina stars in and Brad produced. The film is based on the memoir by Marianne Pearl, the widow of murdered reporter Daniel Pearl. Angelina and Brad appeared on "Dateline" to promote the film and the topic turned to the paparazzi and the lies printed about her. She said it's okay that people try to attack her in the press, and that she will take a year off from working to live her life. They showed clips of the film and while it looks good, her accent is annoying. Remember Alexander and the weird way she talked? Well, her French accent is not garnering stellar reviews either, and we're guessing she used the same dialogue coach that Brad used for Troy. Funny accents aside, these two can do no wrong.

No Snark Needed

Brit "performed" in Orlando's House of Blues on Friday night and her lip-synching track skipped. She turned to the back of the stage and then the music stopped altogether. At this point we are just going to convey the facts regarding Brit's ridiculous career. The facts are enough.

But Do They Have Cocktail Recipes?

Less than one week after he was popped for a Dee-Wee, Ty Pennington released the premiere issue of his magazine. Do we really need another lifestyle magazine? Seriously.

It's Time To Fire Ken Paves

All good things must come to pass and Jessica Simpson now knows that all too well. She and John Mayer are officially dunzo after 9 months of dating and there are a slew of theories as to what caused the break. We happen to think that Mayer, a simple guy from Connecticut, could not deal with her over the top father/manager and his insistence that she dress like a whore from the Bronx. But that's just us. Above she's with John in Hollywood, then as the hostess of the Pussycat Dolls celebration and then at Cannes where she's hawking a movie that hasn't even started filming yet. Cheese.

That Tune You're Singing, Is It New?

The new lawyer for Paris Hilton officially dropped the Hilton family appeal of her 45 day jail term. Kathy Hilton phoned her good friend Barbara Walters, who in turn, mentioned Kathy's new sentiment on The View yesterday. Now Kathy isn't calling judges ridiculous and complaining about how much money the case was costing them, she's saying she's glad Paris will serve as an example to those young girls that look up to her. Drinking and driving is bad. Today, the court said Paris will only have to serve 23 days which will be in a "special needs" cell. They were impressed that she showed up to the hearing. Seriously. Her lawyers paid them to say that.

Do You Think We'll See Ken Tonight?

Holy random chop-shopped photo of Britney Spears with a weird Barbie wig on. Or maybe a weird Skipper wig. Whichever. This is what Brit Brit's peeps are communicating to her fans at this point in time: "The reason for this letter is to let everyone know that their prayers have truly helped me. I am so blessed that you care enough about me to be concerned and will continue to live in this brighter state with all of you by my side during this trying time. We are all lights of the world and we all need to continuously inspire others and look to the higher power. You are all in my prayers. Godspeed. Love, Britney" Well, there's no mention of a stylist or any plans for one, but at least she wished us Godspeed. That's gotta mean something. Right?

That's A Whole Lotta Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan has rebounded from her cocaine snorting video scandal to one involving a Brit. Go figure. Lohan has been dating Calum Best, an English model type, whom she previously "dated" back in the day. He's quite the ladies' man and reportedly made out with a model in the Bahamas over the past weekend. The model and he had their tryst in the hotel hallway outside of the room Lohan was in. Then at the Maxim Hot 100 party, Calum was getting phone numbers of girls that were definitely not Lohan. You can see her mood progress if you consider the outfits below and above. When she is in the rainbow thing that makes her thigh look weird (below), all is happy go lucky. She changed into the blue sequin thing and not so good. The Post reported she had a blowout in the Soho Grand Lobby and Calum's shirt was torn when she confronted him about the creepin' on the side at the party. The couple ended up going back to their room. Oh, and she was Maxim's #1 Hot Celebrity...or whatever they call it. Maxim's #1 of the Hot 100. Obviously they need the publicity.

And I Said No, No, No

While we're on the subject of the Brits, let's point out Amy Winehouse and her reinforcement of the British stereotype regarding dental care. Or the lack thereof. Was that too much? Did we cross a line? We meant no offense. Segway to Amy Winehouse and her boyfriend reportedly getting married in Miami this weekend. She met him when he worked as a runner on the set of one of her music videos. Score. Again with that line. Check her out performing on Letterman below. She's a notorious booze hound. Like she gets drunk for a week at a time and cancels shows because of it. She's like the new Lohan. Sweet.

Introducing Katie Price And Peter Andre

After a week in Ireland reading OK! Magazine, one would inevitably be curious about the phenomenon that is Katie and Peter. Over there, they call her Jordan which was her alter-ego when she was a "glamour model." A glamour model in England is like that of a girl that starts out as a "Page Three" girl and ends up with a career posing for Maxim, FHM, and the like. This leads to reality shows and a career as a writer. [Readers ponder this and think...Wait, did she just say writer?] Indeed we did and her autobiography was nominated for a fancy European Book Award. President Bill Clinton took the prize, but Katie Price's book broke sales records. WHAT! We shit you not. And why? Because dumn asses like us peruse the bookstore in the airport and think....Hmmmm, a seven hour flight, not anything too dark or dreary, no, no, no more "books" about Manhattan and blondes and blah, blah, blah. Wait, here's an autobiography by Katie Price that explains the whole sudden marriage thing. So here they are and we're hooked. We haven't had a chance to watch but one episode of their reality show on E!, but her book told the whole story. And we mean whole story. Girl doesn't mince words. Anyway, her husband just got "out of hospital" after having some brain thing. Random. Katie is pregnant with the couple's second child. They also have a son from Katie's previous relationship with a footballer. The tot, Harvey, has a disease similar to autism, and he is blind. Harvey is the center of Katie and Peter's life and after reading her book, we totally love him. Did we mention that Katie and Peter met on a reality show, "Help, I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!"? Yep. Uh-huh.

My House Is Bigger Than Yours

Where do we begin with the frickin' TomKat situation? Above we have Isabella Cruise one day after she arrived in Australia to visit her mother, Nicole Kidman. Rebellion much? You know Tom is losing his Scientard Shit over that. That is if he has any shit left to lose considering his contract bride, Katie Holmes, has been filming a movie in New Orleans which has had Tom on his private jet down there with great frequency. Like he's there all the fucking time. AND, he rented a house down there that's a half hour away from the rest of the cast and crew working on the movie. Get a life, dude. Below we have the $30 million mansion he bought a few doors down from the $20 million home that Posh and Becks just bought. Freak.

Shame On You Brit Brit

An extraordinary thing happened here in Connecticut yesterday and fierce winds split several very tall, old trees into large lawn ornaments. We were the lucky recipients of 2 of those decorations. We lost all power here at Blogger HQ until hours ago, but don't fret as all was not lost and nobody was hurt. Completely frustrated that there was no power last evening we rushed to Stop-n-Shop as it was getting dark and hadn't nearly enough candles. Back at base we ordered dinner via cellphone as our landline went down with the power. Our street was closed which confused the delivery man and lead to quite the delay, but fallen trees tend to have that affect. No internet, no television, no phone, no lights. What to do? We read a book by candlelight and didn't worry for a moment about what Britney Spears was up to. On our way home from the office this morning (which was closed due to the lack of power) we started to get the itch. No power, no internet. We waited and waited and finally....What HAS Britney Spears been up to? Dear Lord, if only we knew. Her shaved head appears to have grown out about 2 inches and it looks as if she's gone and bleached it and had extensions put in. Isn't that how she got into this mess in the first place?! Our trees and our dreams...shattered.

I See London, I See France

Brit Brit has announced she will do another "show" at the House of Blues in Orlando, Florida this Saturday. She started her career in Orlando with the Mickey Mouse Club and owns a house in the area. E! news interviewed a woman that sold Brit that new blonde wig she's sporting above, and said that she opted for the cheap synthetic one rather than the $500 human hair wig. She's a hot mess. In other Britney news, she reportedly partied it up at Teddy's in LA on Saturday night and was seen doing shots and drinking Red Bull while wearing only her underwear. No pants. Her entourage and bodyguards told the staff that "No boys" were allowed in her area. How modest of her.

You're Preaching To the Choir

We thought it was a little weird when Candy Spelling wrote an open letter to Larry Birkhead but we forged on without comment. Yes, that was totally random. But now! An open letter to Paris Hilton? Brilliant. Basically she said what we've all been thinking. If you don't know what we've been thinking, click on the Paris Hilton link above and read what we've been thinking. If we may be so bold....it's gospel at this point.

More Drama From Those Music Peeps

We have loved Akon's music since back in the day (Mr. Lonely) so that is why we're even bothering to blog about this. The above video shows him getting very freaky with what turned out to be a 14-year-old Preacher's Daughter. No shit. Verizon pulled out of sponsoring Gwen Stefani's tour as Akon is her opening act and performs with her the album's title track, Sweet Escape, which they just did on Idol recently. Akon released a statement saying that the club was supposed to only admit patrons over the age of 18 and he was sorry. Blah, blah, blah. Seriously. He must be on something because that shit ain't right.

Nick Is All Sorts Of Bothered

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo made the news recently when they moved in together in New York City. The couple has been together for a year. Vanessa and MTV just announced that she was leaving her role with TRL and the network. She just released scents or something called Flirt! Whatever. Nick got pissed at a guy that ran into Vanessa causing her to fall at a Kentucky Derby after party. You tell him, kid.

Just Another Manic Monday

The Costume Institute Gala was at the Met on Monday evening, and nearly all the fashionistas were there. Kirsten Dunst brought her gross rocker boyfriend, Johnny, and was all smiles. Her dress and headgear were eww, but whatever. Her movie, Spiderman 3, just became the top grossing film in history and raked in $148 million over the weekend. We'll cut her some slack.
Lindsay Lohan was fresh off her cocaine photo scandal and turned it out flawlessly. Beautifully done.
Mary-Kate Olsen is still doing the homeless person grunge thing with her hair, but at least she's off the coke. Looking much healthier these days. Perhaps Stavros was the influence? Wow. We just mentioned Stavros in 2 different posts today. Random.
For once we think Ashley Olsen is the better of the twins. She looks gorgeous and arrived with Christian Louboutin. Her feet are psyched.

You're Hideous, But Your Boyfriend Is Cute

What in the heck has plastic surgery done to poor Jessica Simpson? She is looking really weird these days. The dress is ridiculous, especially considering the event called for class. (More pictures from the Metropolitan Costume Thing in New York on Monday above.) Thankfully for Jessica, her boyfriend John Mayer turned some of the attention away from her faux pas with his new haircut. Very Johnny Depp. Better.