Why Can't You Set Your Monkey Free?

George Michael had an exciting weekend in central London when he was arrested for possession of pot and GHB after he passed out in the driver's seat of his car. Considering that he owns a gorgeous house in London, we're confused as to why he would be passed out in his car on a random street. You may recall George was arrested in 1998 in a Los Angeles public restroom (down the street from his house) when he tried to get it on with an undercover police officer. He said today that his arrest was, "my own stupid fault, as usual."

Happy Anniversary

We started this blog exactly one year ago today and propose a toast to our loyal readers without whom none of this would be possible. Big kiss.

Thank God There's A Pre-Nup

While Brit enjoys motherhood, K-Fed is trying to start a career as a rapper and is set to release his album this spring. The Fedster told Newsweek that he's ready for the media backlash and quoted critics, "He hates his children, he treats his wife like dirt, he gets high all day. If I was that bad, you think anyone, let alone Britney, would put up with it?" We give the marriage until September.

Stupid Idiot Of The Day

Back in 1999 Kid Rock and former Creed frontman Scott Stapp, were on tour near Miami when they decided to bring four strippers back to their motor home for a sex party. And yes, you guessed it....they made a sex tape which will be released by Red Light District, the company that brought the world One Night In Paris. Scott Stapp claims the tape was stolen (isn't that always the case) and Kid Rock has filed a lawsuit against Red Light to prevent its release. Stapp is supposedly recovering from substance abuse issues but obviously fell off the wagon earlier this month when he was arrested at LAX for public intoxication. He and his new bride were en route to Hawaii for their honeymoon after marrying earlier that day in Miami.

Paris Set To Release Film

Paris Hilton turned 25 years old last week and celebrated with her family in Vegas. Rumor has it she'll be releasing a new sex tape featuring herself, Nicole Lenz and various sex toys. Just in time for the Oscar parties.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Whitney managed to clean up the mess she's become to perform in Italy at the Olympics. If we're lucky they filmed it for the show.

You Have To See The Baby

Sean Preston Spears Federline enjoys a day at the beach.

And Now For Miss Reid

Tara is back and she's got the newly lipo-suctioned abs to prove it. She got rid of the ridiculous hair extensions and is wearing jeans that appear to be hemmed. Big improvement over this comeback look. Bravo, Jersey Girl, Bravo.

Brokeback TomKat

Apparently they're sleeping in separate bedrooms and will do so through the summer until the new Scientology King is born and Tom will assume his reign as Alien Overlord of the earth.

Holy Lipliner

Lohan is from Long Island but subscribes to the New Jersey school of lipliner and fake lashes.

Dysfunction At Disney

Brit's ex-husband, Jason Alexander, and K-Fed's baby momma, Shar Jackson, hooked up recently at an L.A. party and made out in front of guests. They later spent several days at Disneyland together. And no, we're not making this up.

Yes, She Really Is

Brit-Brit made news last week when she was photographed driving with her son on her lap in Los Angeles, settling the 'Is she really that dumb?' debate once and for all.

First Rebound Of The Season

We absolutely love Nick Lachey and apparently this young lady does too. Meet Elizabeth Arnold, aka Miss Kentucky 2001, and Nick's date for a night out in Los Angeles. Aside from the baseball hat she looks kind of cute.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Congrats to Brit-Brit for landing an acting gig on Will & Grace. Perhaps now she'll get over losing that role in Dukes of Hazzard.

Shot Through The Heart

Most celebrity break-ups can be predicted before the honeymoon is over and others are truly surprising. After ten years of marriage Heather Locklear filed for divorce from husband Richie Sambora (of Bon Jovi) and didn't bother to tell him about it beforehand. A reporter told him. Ouch. In other celeb news, Lance Armstrong and the much older Sheryl Crow have called it quits after dating for two years, breaking up, getting back together, getting engaged, and five months later they're broken up again. No big surprise there. We're hoping for a Lance Armstrong/Jennifer Aniston connection. That would be hot.

The Sundance Sex Scene

The commercialism of Sundance was in full effect this year with many celebrities attending just for the swag while others were in Utah to promote their indie movies. Katie Holmes wasn't there at all, but her new movie with Aaron Eckhart called "Thank You for Smoking" was screened and became the scandal of the film festival. The film premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last year and featured a hot sex scene which was mysteriously omitted from the Sundance screening. Director Jason Reitman was asked about the missing scene and after first blaming a glitch, went on to say, "If you want to see a sex scene with Katie Holmes, rent 'The Gift.'" Apparently that movie shows a topless Katie. Of course everyone suspects Crazy Tom had the scene cut, but that has not been confirmed and no one has bothered to ask for a comment regarding the sitch. If anyone knows the number for Tom's publicist send us an email and we'll call. We're not afraid.