Tabloids Are Funny

It's crunch time for Victoria Gotti and Bonnie Fuller after Nick and Jessica announced they broke up. Celebrity Living has the WORLD EXCLUSIVE story on their plans to adopt a baby, and Star has a photo of a pregnant Jessica. Gotti beats out Fuller with her fake baby story because she doesn't have to do the miscarriage story like Star did to follow up the fake pregnancy they gave Demi Moore over the summer. It's only a matter of time before Gotti and Fuller start directly attacking each other and somebody gets whacked. We miss The Sopranos.

Maddox Is All Grown Up

Maddox has benefited from Brad's love affair with his momma Angelina and has now found a new best friend and the confidence to walk on his own. Bravo.

We Love Nick

Five days after officially announcing his split from wife Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey and the WB network started promoting the new show Nick will star in as a 'newlywed' baseball player. The show is being developed by a co-creator of 'Mad About You' and is set to air next fall. Here's hoping his tv marriage lasts longer than his real one.

Better Late Than Never

Ugly drinking guaranteed.

Tara Celebrates

It's amazing how different she looks from the invite, the photo which she also used on an invite during Taradise. We suspect she's ready to tackle Broadway after her recent career defeat. Or Playboy. Whichever.

A Smart Move For Tom

Tom finally replaced his publisister with a professional media rep so we probably won't be seeing much more of Crazy Tom Cruise, but Family Man TomKat is in full swing.

Simpson Distraction

Following Ashlee Simpson's drunken tirade in a Canadian Mickey D's, Papa Joe Simpson trotted out his client/daughter, Jessica to distract us all. Seriously, this marriage between Nick & Jessica is getting boring and it's either time for a baby or a divorce. Or another reality show.

Madonna Rocks

Madge performed at the MTV Europe Video Awards and stuck to her purple disco theme. Holy toned lady.

Happy Belated Birthday Tara

In honor of Tara turning the big Three-Oh, we watched the Taradise episode where she's in Sardinia. It was very, very long and inspired a new level of pity for our gal. But Roberto Cavalli has a kick-ass yacht.

Paris Is Still A Nasty Porn-Star

At least we can always count on her to be consistent.

What's Eating Loser Leo?

Supermodel Gisele Bundchen finally dumped Leonardo DiCaprio making this the first exciting thing to happen in Hollywood in weeks. Gisele has taken up with Kelly Slater, a surfer, and apparently Leo is way depressed about the whole thing. George Clooney, whom she asked out years ago (he declined saying he was too old) should arrange a meeting between his BFF Brad Pitt and Gisele. Then everyone* would live happily ever after.

*This does not include Leo, Angelina or Jenifer Aniston.