David Beckham Is A God

Quite simply, he is delicious. Just so you know.

Please Hem Your Jeans

Miss Reid, your jeans are too long. Have them hemmed immediately. Our fashion-forward friend, Jen, told us about a tape you can iron on and it works great. Really, Tara, a red carpet darling like you should know better. Maybe this is why P. Diddy was paid $100,000 by the Hotel Victor and you got nothing.

Brenda, Hear Our Plea

First of all, honey, what is going on with your nose? It looks different. Please don't turn into a plastic person. You are fabulous just the way you are/were...whatever. Secondly,why are you hosting this crappy party? We're disappointed, Brenda. This is not the girl we love. However, you can rectify all of this by beating the shit out of Paris Hilton. We'll set up a defense fund and hire Johnnie Cochran in advance so you can really go at it. The time has come and you are our only hope. We're begging you.

Britney Spears' Latest Look

This is certainly the most ridiculous thing we've seen in a while. And we've seen quite a few instances of horrible taste presented by Brit Brit. And those flip-flops are about as white trash as they come. Marriage has messed this gal up.