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Inside The Mind Of A Hilton

"Ooh, photographers! How can I make this dress shorter to show off my hoo-ha?"

Inside The Mind Of A Hilton: Part II

"And those mean people said I needed to go to high school to be smart. Look at me. Smart. Me smart."

Brit Brit Channels Morticia Adams

Holy hair extensions. And sweatpants. And husband.

Playtime With Brit Brit

Let's play dress up. I'll be a crazy lady.

Dude, I Lost My Mind.

No words can describe.

Leo at Lunch.

Leonardo looks a bit annoyed as a photog snaps his picture at Nello's in Manhattan. We knew all that Oscar sweetness was an act. We liked him in 'Basketball Diaries' and think he's a good actor but to us, Leo will always be the new kid living with the Seavers on 'Growing Pains.'

Preggers?



Reese Witherspoon is looking cute, and well, a bit pregnant. If this is in fact true, we congratulate you on your third baby. If you're just bloated and PMS-ing, we apologize a million times over. xoxo

We love T.V.

Aside from the 50 Cent - The Game truce, not too much has been happening in the celebrity world. We've turned to our always faithful television.

Our favorite new show this week was 'The Contender' with Sly Stallone and Sugar Ray. We hope NBC figures out which night they're going to have the show be on because we don't have tivo and we're not about to chase your ass.

We loved the premiere of 'Intervention' on A&E because we love everything that they do. The show looks great next week, with the gambler....we hope Kenny Rogers will watch. The theme song is awesome and reminds us of The Samples.

West Wing is getting better now that Hottie McHott-Hott 'NYPD Blue' Guy is on it.






It's been two weeks since 'Desperate Housewives' has been on and we're getting annoyed. Damn you Oscars and Oprah movie. Damn you.

For our loyal reader in the Philippines, we now present Ashton Kutcher.

Surreal Love

Brigitte Nielsen has married for the sixth time. She tied the knot with her Italian boyfriend Mattia Dessi, 26. The couple wed over the weekend in the Dominican Republic, after dating for 11 months. Dessi said: "Yes, it's true we're married. It was all very sudden, but we are both very happy." The Strange Love and Surreal Life celebrity has been married five times before, most notably to Sylvester Stallone.

No word from Foofie-Foofie.

Third Time A Charm?

The NY Post reports:

SHANNEN Doherty may have snared a potential billionaire beau in Paul Allen, who founded a little company called Microsoft with Bill Gates. Allen was at Pink Elephant the other night at a birthday party for co-owner David Cabo when he became transfixed by the sight of Doherty dancing with several female friends. Eventually, the shy software mogul mustered the courage to ask the former "Beverly Hills 90210" vixen for her phone number. "She gave it to him, after joking that she'd trade it for some Microsoft stock," says our spy.

If things work out with Paul, perhaps he'll buy our girl a cable channel and name it Shannen TV. That would rock.

Stop The Insanity

Brit and K-fed

It appears that Britney Spears may have lost her mind. We thought as much in January 2004 when she married that dude, Jason Alexander (not George) in Vegas on New Year's. Then she got married in Summer 2004 to K-Fed. Now she seems to have lost all common sense and is living as a dirty pothead. It's one thing to smoke yourself silly, it's quite another to look as if you have. Here's some advice:

*Take a shower once a day.

*Wash your hair every other day and use conditioner. Conditioner is your friend.

*When venturing out, wear mascara and lip gloss. None of this red crazy lip nonsense.

*Pretend that you have worn clothes before. When in doubt, jeans always work. Sweatpants? Not so much.