A Very Hilton Holiday

Finally! We think the "blogger is a bitch" issue has been solved with the help of our new BFF, Firefox. Sorry, Explorer, we had a good run together but we're just not that into you anymore. Speaking of BFF's, Porn-star Paris Hilton has a silly show on MTV about finding a new BFF which we refuse to watch, even if there is absolutely nothing else on. Apparently she's not getting enough attention from the paparazzi these days so Hilton announced she is officially back in whore mode. After nine months of dating Benji Madden, brother of Nicole Richie's baby daddy, Joel Madden, the couple is dunzo. In true Paris fashion, she got it on with her ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos in Miami before actually letting Madden know that she was done with him. As we head into the slow holiday gossip cycle, we predict Paris will date seven guys, get in two drunken brawls and have at least three pregnancy rumors surrounding her. Holy 2006.

Blogger Too Big For Its Britches

We have no idea what is going on with blogger right now. Everytime we try to upload a photo, we get this crazy "operation aborted" pop-up with an accompanying scary sound. Hopefully the magic of the iPhone will allow us to tell you all about Paris Hilton and how she's causing major déjà vu. And blogger? Get your act together.

Seldom Turns Out The Way It Does In A Song

As you can see, the puppies are back online (below) and are now six weeks old. All of them have been spoken for and their adoptions will take place before Christmas which means that we have to start looking for another happy diversion. Luckily for us, those crazy gals in Hollywood are up to their old tricks (literally, in some cases) so we get to judge them from behind our veil of anonymity. Yummy. A big welcome home to Kara Sweet Gobron after a tough battle fought. You totally rock.

Just Because

Barney Bites Back

President Bush congratulated President Elect Obama and offered his family a warm welcome to the White House. The Bush dog, however, did not share the sentiment and expressed his displeasure to a reporter from Chicago. The new First Pup has not been chosen yet, but Obama assured the press corps that the family will choose a shelter dog that is "a mutt like me."

Delusion Of The Day

You know how sometimes you'll be driving and a song comes on that you totally love, so you start singing along? Certainly, you say, music is fun. We sometimes sing T.V. theme songs or ditties we compose on the fly about how cute the puppies are. Growing up, we sang in the church choir and in the sixth grade we sang a few solo's in a Christmas play and then, we moved on because that's what folks do. Only certain people like Elza or Beyonce should sing professionally. They are singers. Kim from 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' is not a singer. Like...she is the opposite of a singer. If we didn't know Dallas Austin is a famous producer (that once got busted in Dubai with blow) then we would swear the above clip was filmed as a joke. Unfortunately for everybody involved, Kim is serious. And what in the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks is up with her hair?!? That shit is straight up plastic. Kim needs to move on. And buy a better wig.

YOU Get A Puppy and YOU Get A Puppy!

The White House will soon be full of life with first daughters, Malia and Sasha, and a new puppy! We love puppies and have found a new little brood to keep an eye on, above. The six puppies sleep a lot, but even that is entertaining as their dreams are quite vivid. Don't worry if you don't see them in their bed, they're out for a tinkle break. For a full screen link to the cuteness, click here. Enjoy.

President Barack Obama

Today is the single greatest day in the history of our nation. We have never been more proud of being an American. Yes, We Can!

Tragedy Precedes Victory

Barack Obama and his sister just released the following statement:

It is with great sadness that we announce that our grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, has died peacefully after a battle with cancer. She was the cornerstone of our family, and a woman of extraordinary accomplishment, strength, and humility. She was the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances. She was proud of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren and left this world with the knowledge that her impact on all of us was meaningful and enduring. Our debt to her is beyond measure.

Our family wants to thank all of those who sent flowers, cards, well-wishes, and prayers during this difficult time. It brought our grandmother and us great comfort. Our grandmother was a private woman, and we will respect her wish for a small private ceremony to be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you make a donation to any worthy organization in search of a cure for cancer.