While you might not be able to read the tattoo in the last picture there, we assure you it says 'DEATH.' Sweet, dude. Lohan and her boyfriend (that she met in rehab) are back in Hollywood following The National Enquirer story regarding the guy's fiancee. Yes, fiancee. Always drama with the Lohan. Apparently this girl and Riley have lived together for 3 years in Laguna Beach. He was arrested for trying to forge prescriptions and off he went to Utah. The girl went to a group meeting and met Lindsey whom she said was overly nice, or fake. Two days later, the guy texts his fiancee and says they should take a break. He admits that he had sex with Lohan in a hallway, blah, blah, blah. The girl brings her engagement ring into be repaired and is told by the jeweler that the "diamonds" are actually cubic zirconium. Lohan sure knows how to pick 'em.
First off, we apologize for not posting in ten days, but we had a momentarily lapse of judgment when we placed our laptop on a ledge. The screen is still broken and unusable after falling from a great height, but the rest of the computer is A plus. Way to go, Toshiba Satellite. Our little soldier is now hooked up to a separate monitor. Getting back to the reason we're all here...Brit Brit and her recent accomplishment. She passed her drug tests and has regained custody of her children. Even the Fedster's lawyer was speaking highly of Brit in the press. That was some payout those lawyers accommodated his lifestyle with and well done, Britney's lawyer. Speaking of, Britney's lawyer also settled that hit and run case out of court. Now that Brit is celebrating, she got lip injections and was photographed from a helicopter dancing in her backyard, the results of which you see above. We have a lot of catching up to do so we're not even going to get into the spray-on tan issue, funky weave, or the teeny, tiny leopard print bikini on those big ol' hips. There is not enough time in the night. Lohan awaits.
Before we get into the whole family, kids, custody, no underwear issues, we must ask: What the hell is going on with Britney's weave? Is that even a weave anymore? What the hell is on her head? It probably scares her kids, not to mention the judge presiding over her custody battle. So Brit's mother and sister have reconciled with her and are currently out in Los Angeles trying to help her straighten out her life. That is a good thing....sort of. They need to buy her an alarm clock, maybe even babysit the crazy gal because she is incapable of taking care of herself. She overslept and missed the court hearing regarding custody much like she overslept and missed her first few drug tests. The good news, however, is that she did pass a few random drug tests recently and was awarded one supervised overnight visit per week with her sons. Her record label has pushed up the date for her album's release because so much of it has already been leaked online, and her first single "Gimme More" remains at the top of the charts. Okay. Now for the bad news...the little outfit she's wearing above is not only missing a bra, but she doesn't have any underwear on either. You guessed it, there are shots of her vagina all over the internet. Again. This is the third time she's shown her va-jay-jay to the world. It wasn't cute then, and it's certainly not cute now. For the love of God, someone make her stop.
J.Lo is everywhere these days promoting her new album and giving new meaning to the tent dress. While her mother, Guadalupe, and Marc Anthony's first wife, Dayonara Torres (the mother of his three children) have both confirmed the pregnancy Jennifer is not saying a word. Rumor is that she's preggers with twins and is four months along. Click below to watch her interview with Dave Letterman. She is glowing and her personality is pretty cute. This may be a first, but we can't think of anything snarky to say. Don't worry your pretty little heads though, because it won't last long. Brit Brit is up next.
While we're not sure about the bleach-blond streak she's sporting as of late, Amy Winehouse is still our absolute favorite and we still can not stop listening to her. You'd think it would get old after all this time, but it just doesn't. We heart Amy. The artist formerly known as Prince, or Prince as he goes by now (we can't keep up) has invited our girl to Minnesota to collaborate on some music together. As you can see above, Amy has made some more American friends in the duo that is Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. The twins launched their new high-end fashion line and invited Amy to a private shopping excursion in London. Now if we could just do something about that husband of hers....Oh, and Prince told Amy to leave the hubby at home. Something about the visit being "strictly business." That Prince is such a playa.
Lock up your sons and husbands, Lohan is out of rehab. On Friday she was officially released from the rehab facility where she's been shopping, er, faking it, er, getting help. Ahem. What we can gather is that she was actually getting fucked up in rehab which is no surprise to us and of course the British tabloids have been all over that shit. There have been stories about how she has people give her large water bottles filled with vodka at AA meetings. Everyone wants to be her friend apparently, including her daddy who is freaking loving the publicity. We also heard she was hooking up with Sonny Bono's son, also a patient there. Her publicist put out a story that Lohan was moving to Manhattan and looking to attend college. Yeah, and we're about to run a marathon. Puh-lease. Lohan gave the obligatory paid interview to OK! magazine but her comments are too ridiculous for us to even bother typing out. Hey, we have standards.
We could go on and on about the Danny Bonaduce situation, but the above video explains all you will ever need to know. We happen to be fans of Danny's via his show, Breaking Bonaduce, not to mention the Partridge Family, and his sincerity at the the end of this interview is real. That other dude, we saw on this horrible reality show on VH1 where they filmed a movie of reality stars, we can't remember the name of it, but the guy actually got kicked off the project. No, it wasn't Survivor when he pretended his grandmother died to get ahead, that's on CBS. Anyway, you get the point. No charges have been filed against Bonaduce, although Fairfuck has filed a civil lawsuit against him. Of course.
In between sets of her magic show in Vegas, Pam Anderson married Rick Salomon. On Letterman, Pam's second husband, Kid Rock, said, "I wish somebody would have given me the advice I'm about to give Rick Salomon. Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?" Then he said, "I wish them much happiness." Pam wore a denim miniskirt to the ceremony, which we suppose is better than the white bikini's she's worn to her other weddings, but still. During the 90-minute ceremony/reception which featured pigs in a blanket, a fake cardboard wedding cake, and macaroni and cheese, Pam lovingly referred to her new husband as "Scum." Seriously. We couldn't make this shit up. Best wishes to you, Pammie. (Something tells us you're gonna definitely need it.)
The video for Britney's 'Gimme More' will premiere on Monday on MTV and VH1, but of course it was leaked and can be seen above. Jive, her record label, said that the vision and concept were completely Brit's own and she also handpicked the first-time director. Considering the stills from the video shoot, the end result is better than we had expected. Actually, at this point our expectations for her are so low that she could have just sat there and we would have said Bravo.
Congratulations, officially, to Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony on their pregnancy. Granted, they have not acknowledged she's preggers, but that first photo makes it obvious. At least to us anyway. Plus there's that nose thing. This will be J.Lo's first baby and her husband's third. And he's her third husband. Good things happen in three's apparently.
We doubt that this is actually a shot from the Sex and the City movie currently filming in New York. We think they're drumming up the hype and we know Carrie Bradshaw would not be caught dead in that wedding dress. At least we hope we know. If we're wrong we just spoiled the movie and Carrie ends up marrying Big. BUT, if she does, we guarantee it won't be in that dress. Please Lord, don't let it be in that dress.
The interview that Kid Rock gave to Rolling Stone garnered its very own AP story. Basically he said that Pam Anderson lied about miscarrying his baby so that he would come visit her in Canada. He said, "She's in Vancouver shooting a movie and I have Lakers seats on the floor, and I'm gonna go to the Lakers (basketball) game with my friend Jesse James," the 36-year-old rapper says. "I'm like, `Baby, I got these tickets. I'll see you on the weekend there,' and that leads into her saying, `You don't care about me, blah blah blah,'" Rock says. "She finally comes up with this: `I just had a miscarriage' ... and hangs the phone up." Rock, claiming he was unaware that Anderson was pregnant, says he chartered a plane and flew to Vancouver. "When I get there, she's partying at this restaurant, drinking champagne, jumping on the tables. I'm thinking, `That's a quick recovery from a miscarriage.'" Wow. Um, wow.
After the judge in Brit Brit's custody case stripped her of custody of her 2 sons on Monday, she immediately turned them over to Kevin's bodyguard and went off to the tanning salon. We kid you not. The judge gave her until today at noon to give them up after her parental rights were revoked. Apparently she lost custody because the judge saw her on TMZ driving the boys around without a California driver's license. Thankfully she went ahead and got that taken care of yesterday. According to Brit's lawyer, she also has not participated in the drug testing, parental training, blah, blah, blah. On a lighter note, Gimme More is the #3 song on the Billboard chart and remains #1 on the download charts. That's something. Right?
We're sure this was a photo op set up by her record company, but regardless, our new favorite girl is looking fabulous. Thank the Lord she stopped wearing those ballet slippers. The kitten heels suit her and they remind us a bit of this. Rock on doll.
Congratulations to Jenny from the Block and her impending motherhood. Lopez has talked ad nauseum about wanting to have a child and finally now it appears she is preggers. She has been wearing loose fitting clothing for at least a month now and now she has the pregger nose. Remember Brit Brit's nose? It's common for pregnant women to experience a widening of the nose and J.Lo's usually aristocratic nose job has expanded to its usual size. We think it may have something to do with the increased sense of smell that animals gain when pregnant. Who knows. We do, however, know that the outfit she wore to open her tour with husband Marc Anthony is ridiculous. What is she thinking?! Yes, we just used the exclamation point. In our opinion that outfit deserves it. In fact, we hate that last photo so much that we'll actually give it three exclamation points. So there.
Our little Brit Brit (aka Baby Jessica) showed up at Starbucks with her newest pup, London. We must admit he's very cute. The shorts Brit is wearing? Not so much.
While you might not be able to read the tattoo in the last picture there, we assure you it says 'DEATH.' Sweet, dude. Lohan and her boyfriend (that she met in rehab) are back in Hollywood following The National Enquirer story regarding the guy's fiancee. Yes, fiancee. Always drama with the Lohan. Apparently this girl and Riley have lived together for 3 years in Laguna Beach. He was arrested for trying to forge prescriptions and off he went to Utah. The girl went to a group meeting and met Lindsey whom she said was overly nice, or fake. Two days later, the guy texts his fiancee and says they should take a break. He admits that he had sex with Lohan in a hallway, blah, blah, blah. The girl brings her engagement ring into be repaired and is told by the jeweler that the "diamonds" are actually cubic zirconium. Lohan sure knows how to pick 'em. 
